Barbara Jennnings

Drunk driver accused of swallowing breathalyzer to avoid arrest

Drunk driver accused of swallowing breathalyzer to avoid arrest

An Ohio man who was arrested for driving while under the influence of alcohol last night found a rather original way to beat the breathalyzer: he swallowed it! According to the Cleveland Police Department, 44-year George Murphy was controlled by patrollers around midnight while he was driving his 2009 Ford Explorer. The officers reported he had […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Vegan lion tamer arrested for feeding his animals only carrots

Vegan lion tamer arrested for feeding his animals only carrots

A lion tamer associated with the New Orleans Grand Circus was arrested this morning on charges of animal cruelty for feeding the animal under his care exclusively a vegan carrot-based mixture. An investigation was opened by the FBI last month after 42-year old Darrell Johnson posted videos online where he presented his unique “vegan lion feed recipe”. […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Woman grows 42-ZZ breasts thanks to sperm drinking diet

Woman grows 42-ZZ breasts thanks to sperm drinking diet

A Californian woman with breasts weighing more than 30-lbs each claims that her secret is drinking a pint of sperm per day. 27-year old Jesabelle Monroe claims she has been drinking semen every day for the last ten years, and that her chest has never stopped growing, even after puberty. She is convinced that her […]

 Barbara Jennnings

500-lbs woman kills world’s oldest tortoise by accidentally sitting on it

500-lbs woman kills world’s oldest tortoise by accidentally sitting on it

A woman was arrested this morning on the Atlantic island of Saint Helena for accidentally causing the death of the oldest known animal in the world, a 185-year old tortoise named Jonathan. The famous Seychelles giant tortoise lived on the grounds of Plantation House, the official residence of the island’s Governor, and belonged to the government of […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Doctor gets arm stuck for 8 hours in patient’s anus during prostate exam

Doctor gets arm stuck for 8 hours in patient’s anus during prostate exam

A Florida hospital is facing a multimillion-dollar lawsuit after one of his doctors negligently got his hand stuck in a patient’s rectal cavity for several hours after a prostate exam. 51-year old Ronald Walters presented himself last week at the Orlando Regional Medical Center for a routine exam designed to detect prostate cancer. Unfortunately, the […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Man who suffered heart attack after eating 21 burritos in a row sues Taco Bell for $4M

Man who suffered heart attack after eating 21 burritos in a row sues Taco Bell for $4M

A man from Pasadena has launched a multimillion-dollar lawsuit this morning against the American fast food chain Taco Bell, whom he blames for causing a heart attack that almost killed him. Eric James Johnson suffered a severe heart attack on February 16 while he was eating at a Taco Bell restaurant. The man crumbled on the […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Israel: Man claiming to be a time traveler turns himself in for the killing of Jesus Christ

Israel: Man claiming to be a time traveler turns himself in for the killing of Jesus Christ

A man turned himself in to the police in Jerusalem this morning, claiming he’s not only a time traveler but also the killer of Jesus Christ. The Jerusalem District Police has confirmed that an unidentified man dressed in a Roman armor presented himself this morning in its headquarters,  carrying a blood-covered spear-like weapon. The man, who speaks […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Man with Alzheimer’s disease dies after getting 14 flu shots in a day

Man with Alzheimer’s disease dies after getting 14 flu shots in a day

An 81-year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s disease was found dead in his home yesterday after getting more than a dozen influenza vaccines over an 8 hour period. Edward Norris, from Newark in New Jersey, was found dead in his bed yesterday morning by his visiting daughter. The elderly man was known to suffer from Alzheimer’s […]

 Barbara Jennnings

Man claims that drinking gallons of sperm cured him of homosexuality

Man claims that drinking gallons of sperm cured him of homosexuality

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama | A well-known naturopath and former LGBT militant claims to have “cured himself” of his homosexuality by drinking two glasses of sperm per day for a few months. 61-year old Brian Franklin was for several decades militant and leader of several organizations working for the promotion of LGBT rights. He says despite his […]

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