Bob Flanagan

Couple stuck together for 16 hours after mistaking super glue for lubricant

Couple stuck together for 16 hours after mistaking super glue for lubricant

San Francisco, CA | A San Francisco couple was hospitalized for an excruciating 16 hours this week at San Francisco’s General Hospital after mistaking an industrial adhesive with sexual lubricant. Matthew Kensworth, 39, and Jamie Loon, 37, called emergency services after realizing they were literally glued together and were unable to detach themselves from one another. One […]

 Bob Flanagan

Donald Trump bestowed honorific title by association of people with small hands

Donald Trump bestowed honorific title by association of people with small hands

Washington, D.C. | The National Organization for Rare Disorders (NORD) has bestowed President Donald Trump this week with the honorific title of Honorary Ambassador for people suffering from Acrodysostosis. Acrodysostosis is a rare genetic disorder characterized by abnormally small hands and feet with short, stubby fingers and toes that may affect all or some of the fingers […]

 Bob Flanagan

Zambian man arrested after boasting he lost 280 pounds on ‘cannibal diet’

Zambian man arrested after boasting he lost 280 pounds on ‘cannibal diet’

Kabwe | A Zambian man has been arrested by authorities after boasting on social media that he had lost 280 pounds by eating a “human meat-only” diet. Mwamba Tembo, 43, claims he was overweight until his witch doctor advised him to go on a three-month human bone broth regime. Tembo shared on social media his progressive […]

 Bob Flanagan

Man contracts flesh-eating disease after eating boyfriend’s anus while he had diarrhea

Man contracts flesh-eating disease after eating boyfriend’s anus while he had diarrhea

San Francisco, CA | A 28-year-old man is lying in critical condition after he contracted necrotizing fasciitis, a rare form of flesh-eating bacteria. Adam Rader, 28, was transported to UCSF Medical Center after suffering from severe pain in his mouth and throat, as well as fever, and vomiting. Rader was rapidly diagnosed by the medical staff after […]

 Bob Flanagan

Hawaii: Scuba diver hospitalized after his penis gets stuck in giant clam

Hawaii: Scuba diver hospitalized after his penis gets stuck in giant clam

Pahala, HI | A scuba diver is being hospitalized at Ka’u hospital on the island of Hawaii after he inserted his penis into a giant clam while recreational diving. Sean Madison, 22, was transported to Ka’u hospital after suffering from severe breathing complications, vomiting, extreme swelling and low blood pressure. Doctors believe physical contact with […]

 Bob Flanagan

Former Russian spy claims Poutine poisoned him with ‘gay hormones’

Former Russian spy claims Poutine poisoned him with ‘gay hormones’

London | A second former Russian spy has been hospitalized this week after suffering acute symptoms of mercury poisoning. Igor Viktorovich Prokhorov, 66, called an ambulance after suffering from a seizure and was found unconscious in his house on Sunday. Prokhorov who has worked as a double agent for Britain for over 30 years had […]

 Bob Flanagan

Woman goes blind from chlamydia after cheating on husband with pet koala

Woman goes blind from chlamydia after cheating on husband with pet koala

Wodonga | An Australian woman has lost 80% of her eyesight after contracting chlamydia from her pet koala, reports the Murray River Chronicle. Whiteman was transported to Wodonga Hospital after developing an irritating eye infection which caused her left eye to bleed. Doctors found traces of chlamydia-induced trachoma, an extremely painful disease that causes eyelids to turn inward, scratching […]

 Bob Flanagan

Gay man turns heterosexual after seeing ‘Gates of Hell’ during near-death experience

Gay man turns heterosexual after seeing ‘Gates of Hell’ during near-death experience

Prichard, AL | A homosexual man from Alabama has decided to become straight after he allegedly had terrifying visions of Hell after a near-death experience. William Frohlich, 34, claims he has been haunted for weeks by horrifying visions of “demons” and “Hell” after he was electrocuted during home repairs which led his heart to stop beating […]

 Bob Flanagan

Teen emasculated by girlfriend after she gave him a blow job with braces

Teen emasculated by girlfriend after she gave him a blow job with braces

Santa Cruz, CA | A 17-year-old Californian is being hospitalized after his girlfriend almost accidentally severed his penis while performing oral sex on him. Jayden Williams, 17, is being treated at the Santa Cruz Dominican Hospital after his girlfriend, Tanya Hopkins, 12, attempted to perform oral sex on her boyfriend with her newly installed braces. Tanya’s […]

 Bob Flanagan

Postman with eating disorder arrested for eating 1.3 tons of mail

Postman with eating disorder arrested for eating 1.3 tons of mail

A mailman of the United States Postal Services was arrested this morning by the NYPD on charges of stealing and eating more than 75,000 letters he was supposed to deliver. 38-year old Diego Ramirèz was arrested at his residence around 7:15 AM by officers of the New York Police Department and deputies of the New York […]

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