‘I refuse to do chores in December but my boyfriend didn’t believe me – he’s fuming’

A woman’s boyfriend hurled abuse at her after she followed through with the fact she said she wouldn’t do any chores in November and December due to her small business

Woman sat on sofa
The woman wanted to know whether she was being unreasonable for asking her boyfriend to understand her situation (Stock Image)

Being in a relationship is all about give and take – if one of you does the washing up, then the other will do the dishes. If someone doesn’t mind loading the washing machine, perhaps the other can do the hoovering. Each couple has their own preferred chores, and you’ll work it out between yourselves over time.

One woman was left flabbergasted though, when she told her boyfriend she wouldn’t be completing any chores throughout December – and he was annoyed about it. She took to Reddit ‘s ‘Am I the a**hole’ forum to explain that she has a small business and makes the most sales in the final two months of the year.

The woman explained her situation (Stock Image)


Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

She explained: “I (F30) run a small online business from home. November and December are my busiest time of the year when I make a lot of money that allows me to work less during the year.

“I’ve been doing this since I was 25 so I’ve got a decent idea of what I can and cannot do. And focusing on work only for one to two months is a sacrifice I’m willing to make to chill for the rest of the year.

“This year, I’ve moved in with my boyfriend (M35). Well, technically he moved in with me because I own the house so it was a no-brainier for him to move in with me.

“We split chores half and half. He works full-time (37.5 hours a week). When he moved in, I had a talk with him letting him know that I can’t do any chores in November and December, and asked if he could pick up the slack because I’m physically unable to do any chores as I can be working anything between 12-18 hours a day (I take a full January off to decompress). He said he doubted I worked that much but we will see.

“I asked again in September and October to make sure he was aware that I won’t be doing anything (I meal prepped in advance) and I felt he kind of dismissed me. Mid-November, we had an argument about my chores not being done and I reminded him of what I told him.

Her partner told her to grow up and get a better work-life balance (Stock Image)


Getty Images/Image Source)

“He said that he thought I wasn’t being serious and told me there’s no way he’d do 100% of chores because he’s working too. I said fine, don’t do my chores, they can wait until I have time. That’s how it was when I lived alone, no problem, I don’t make much mess anyway. He wasn’t happy but dropped it.

“We haven’t seen each other much because I’ve been working so much but he’s been more and more p***** off and blew up at me today regarding the chores.

“He said I had to have a better work-life balance and to grow up because the house was a mess. I told him if it was a mess it was his fault because I barely leave my office.

“He called me a lazy b****. I told him I didn’t have time for arguing and went back to work.

“He stood in front of my locked office door shouting how he couldn’t believe I was being serious about not doing chores and it was an a****** move to leave it all to him.

“He thinks I’m a major a****** for basically disappearing for two months and following through with not doing chores. Am I really the a****** for saying I won’t do chores and following through?”

People jumped to the woman’s defence, telling her that her boyfriend was pre-warned about the situation and should be more helpful.

Someone wrote: “Someone who called me a lazy b**** in MY house, wouldn’t be living in it much longer.”

“I’d tell him to start looking for a place of his own”, another fumed.

“The sad part is there are people (adults) who think that’s ok to do”, one Redditor raged.

Others pointed out flaws in the relationship, writing: “Criticism corrodes the foundation of a relationship. You can complain about an action (when merited) but never attack the identity of your partner. Insanely toxic and relationship-ending.”

One commented: “The house is a mess because he is making a mess. She’s been cleaning up after him and now he has to do it himself and doesn’t like it. He wants his maid back. And he’s living in her home. The f****** gall of this man.”

What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.

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