Man with sexual fetish about nasal swabs banned from COVID testing after 192 negative tests

A South Carolina court issued an unusual restrictive injunction this morning, revoking a Greenville resident’s right to be tested for the COVID-19 virus after he got tested 192 times “only for his own sexual pleasure”.

According to the 47 individuals and organizations registered as plaintiffs in this case, 58-year old Humphrey Reynolds has been using COVID testing clinics as “state-funded sexual service clinics”, getting tested up to three times a day for sexual pleasure.

Mr. Reynolds is a self-declared “nasophile” that produces a blog about nasal sexual fetishes, on which several posts cover the pleasure of “deep COVID nose swabs”.

Helen Fitzgerald, a nurse who tested him twice in December and was among the plaintiffs, said she was relieved by the court’s decision.

“As soon as I inserted the cotton swab in his nose, he started moaning loudly and ejaculated, leaving a wet spot on his jeans. Then he came back five hours later and it was the same thing.”

Another plaintive who tested Mr. Reynolds early in January, Dr. Brian Smith, described their encounter as the most disturbing of his career.

“I took the nurse’s place as I thought having it done by an older man might ruin his fetish. I was rough and rude to him, but he told me that he would ask for me the next time and came back two hours later.”

Mr. Reynold had claimed that forbidding him from being tested could threaten his health and security but his argument was dismissed by the court.

Dr. Smith testified in court during the procedures, asking the judge to “protect the medical staff from this predatory pervert.”

Today’s injunction will forbid Mr. Reynolds from approaching within 100 feet of any of the state’s COVID testing clinics for the next 24 months or face imprisonment.

He announced his intention to appeal the decision, saying the judgment was “a violent of basic human rights” but refused to further comment and denied demands for an interview.