A mother claims she has a ‘special connection’ with her biological daughter, so she won’t be teaching her partner’s children her native language
Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
A mother has caused a stir among her partner and step kids as she only speaks to her newborn biological daughter in her native language. Both the stepmother and her partner are in their forties and live at home with three children of the father’s previous marriage.
When the baby was born some months ago, issues started to arise over how she spoke to her. “My daughter is really learning to speak, and I speak to her only in my native language,” she stated in a Reddit post.
“I want my daughter to be able to speak to her family, who only speak my native language, when we go back to my home country. I also want to keep that part of her heritage alive since she won’t be as connected to it as the other half growing up here.”
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However, she claims the step children feel threatened about the presence of the newborn daughter and do not like that she speaks to her daughter in her native tongue, but will not take the time to teach it to them.
But, the stepmother states that she is not simply teaching her biological the language, the newborn is acquiring it which is a different thing altogether.
“It’s a different mechanism for learning a language. We don’t sit down and have lessons, she just learns as I speak to her throughout the day and do the occasional baby flash cards. I don’t think I have the skill to teach a language. I’m not great at teaching anyway, and I’d have to do some learning myself,” she said in the post.
In between all the activities and homework of the stepchildren’s lives and the fact the stepmother is a parent to four children now, there would not be enough time to add in learning a completely new language as well, according to her.
The new mum claims there will be something biologically special between her and her daughter that might not exist between her and the step kids, which they will probably have to learn to cope with.
“I think the other kids will have to eventually learn that some things will be special between me and my biological daughter. They have three parents, when she just has my partner and me, and her connection to my family back home will always be stronger,” she stated.
The step mother has been keen to help the step kids with their homework and speak the language to them a bit in the house if they got the professional tuition that could teach them the language.
She has also found them a class to go to, but that has been refused as they think it is not fair for her to share this part of her life with her biological child, and not them.
“It’s become a real issue in my house because I refuse to stop speaking to my daughter this way, and also refuse to start giving language lessons when a professional could do it instead,” she added.
There was a divide in the comments section, but most people were in support of the mother.
One person said: “Learning a language as a baby or as a child is totally different process. The 4 yo might be able to pick it up by hearing you. The other two will need classes, which you offered. You’re not comfortable teaching them, which is understandable.”
However, another added: “But I’d be really flattered that they do want to learn my native language. I feel that OP is gate keeping the language as a way of creating a special bond with her child more than it being a “teaching the kids the language”. Kids get bored and will eventually quit nagging to learn if she tried.”
A third agreed: “I kind of feel that the step kids wanted to learn the language is a really good thing, and it could be turned into a family activity. Maybe kids and dad hire a tutor and learn together, while OP helps with reading books and labeling objects around the home and basic communication everyday.”
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