Don’t get me wrong, missionary position is great and is a stock standard for a reason – but there’s a bevy of other simple and complex moves that you can try to spice up your sex life. The more difficult ones have a higher risk of injury simply because of the weird positions you end up in, but the most dangerous move you can pull is actually one of the easiest.
Most people will be familiar with cowgirl or cowboy.
The bloke lays on their back while their partner jumps on top and rides them like a person on one of those mechanical bulls.
But because the penis is pointing upwards and there’s a lot of downward pressure in this move (and most variations of the move), it becomes very prone to breakage. Ugh, the sheer thought of a penis breaking is enough to make your body shudder in horror.
A study published in the Advances in Urology journal found that nearly half the number of people presenting to three hospitals in Brazil with penile fractures had suffered the injury as a result of the cowgirl position.
The study authors wrote: “When woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong-way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in women with no pain, but major in the penis.
“On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to harm to the penis, minimising it.
“Penile fracture is a relatively uncommon clinical condition that frequently causes fear and embarrassment for the patient, hypothetically resulting in a delayed search for medical assistance, which can lead to an impairment of sexual and voiding functions.”
Funnily enough, some big-name celebrities have suffered broken penises, with one of the most notable being Dennis Rodman.
The former basketballer broke his dick three times during separate sex sessions. The first time happened when the woman he was with told him to ‘run and jump in my pussy’.
Meanwhile MMA Fighter Ray Elbe had to get 10 stitches after an unfortunate cowgirl incident, when his girlfriend reportedly ‘accidentally bounced a bit too high’. He even released a video on YouTube to warn cowgirl enthusiasts to be careful.
Jackass funny man Johnny Knoxville also broke his Johnson but as you can imagine it wasn’t during sex. He tried to flip a motorbike in 2007 and it failed miserably, sending him to hospital with a dick injury. Knoxville told VH-1 that as a result, it was ‘like a dog’s chew-toy down there’.
Take note gents, be careful.