- From dead popes to defense lawyers for rats, medieval courts were weird places.
It’s easy to think that being trigger-happy with lawsuits is a purely modern phenomenon. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If anything, bringing up a frivolous lawsuit was even easier in the times gone by. With no well-established laws and plenty of superstitions, people were free to sue anyone — or anything.
That’s right, the defendants weren’t always even human. Animal trials, often leading to brutal executions, were common in medieval times.
Let’s take a look at six completely ridiculous trials from Medieval Europe.
6. Stadelin of Boltigen
Stadelin of Boltigen was a Swiss farmer from the late 1300s. And he was a good one, too — his fields produced much bountiful harvests than his neighbors.
The jealous neighbors wondered how Stadelin did it. In a leap of logic that we could absolutely still see happening today, the neighbors determined that they couldn’t possibly be doing anything wrong.
No, Stadelin had to be a sorcerer.
The neighbors sued Stadelin, accusing him of using magic to move crops to his fields from his neighbors’. They also claimed he had control over rain and had caused a local woman to miscarry seven times — for some reason.
Local judges used the finest medieval court procedures and tortured Stadelin until he confessed to everything he was accused of. Under duress, he also admitted that his wife was a witch.
As a reward for his “willing” confession, Stadelin was burned at the stake. His wife denied being a witch, which obviously meant she was one — so she was burned at the stake for not confessing.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
5. Count Gero Of Alsleben
We don’t know why a man called Waldo sued Count Gero of Alsleben, Germany, in 979. Yet, the count had done something that got him arrested, and Waldo charged him to trial by combat — which was the style of the time.
In case you don’t know how trial by combat works, the arguing parties get in a ring and fight. Whoever lives, wins the court case. Simple and straightforward.
As the battle started, Count Gero put up a strong defense for his case by slashing Waldo’s throat. Rapidly bleeding out, Waldo summoned the last of his strength and caved Gero’s skull in with a blow to his head, instantly killing the count.
Waldo then collapsed on the ground and died.
So, it’s a tie, right? Wrong — since Gero died first, he lost the trial and had his already dead corpse decapitated for his crimes.
4. Girolamo Savonarola
Girolamo Savonarola was a Florentine monk in the late 15th century. In 1494, Florence became a democratic republic (an oddity at the time) and the popular preacher Savonarola became the city’s leader.
Savonarola began delivering increasingly vitriolic sermons against the Catholic Church, which he found corrupt. For his preaching, the pope excommunicated him in 1497.
Savonarola complained, and one of his rivals, Francesco de Puglia, saw an opportunity. He proposed a trial by fire to determine whether Savonarola was righteous or a heretic.
If he could walk through fire and not get burned, God was clearly on his side and the pope had been wrong. For some reason, Savonarola agreed.
Yet, on the day of the trial, a strong thunderstorm put out the fire. Was this divine intervention from the Almighty to prevent Savonarola from being burned?
Maybe, but Savonarola’s enemies didn’t care. They arrested the friar, tortured him until he confessed to being a false prophet, and then hanged and burned.
De Puglia was one sore loser.
3. Swiss Beetles
As we said, it wasn’t always humans who ended up on trial in the times past. In 1478, the residents of Berne, Switzerland, sued the swarms of beetles that had devoured their crops.
Shockingly, the beetles didn’t show up for the trial. The Bishop of Lausanne strongly admonished the bugs and issued a cease-and-desist order prohibiting them from eating any more crops.
Shockingly, the beetles ignored the order. Incensed, the bishop then banished the beetles, ordering them to leave the land within six days.
Shockingly, the beetles didn’t leave. So, the bishop summoned them to the town of Avenches for excommunication.
Shockingly, the beetles didn’t come to Avenches. When they began eating crops the next year, the bishop decided to blame the destruction on the locals’ sinful ways.
We suppose that’s easier.
2. Pope Formosus
In January 897, Pope Stephen VI sued his predecessor, Pope Formosus in the ecclesiastical court. A supporter of John VIII, who was pope before Formosus, Stephen accused Formosus of not being an officially ordained priest and of using his position to amass a personal fortune.
There was just one issue. At the time of the charges, Formosus had been dead for nine months.
But Stephen VI wasn’t about to let a little thing like death stop his petty trial. He had Formosus’ corpse exhumed, dressed in papal attire, and brought to the Vatican for the trial.
Unsurprisingly, Formosus didn’t make many arguments when asked to defend himself, and he was found guilty of all charges. His fingers were chopped off (since those were used to make blessings), all his papal orders were annulled, and his corpse was tossed in the Tiber River.
Stephen VI had hoped the trial would strengthen his position, but it had the opposite effect. After being the pope for only 15 months, Stephen VI was deposed and murdered, and a second trial absolved Formosus of his supposed crimes.
Nobody dug up his corpse for that second trial, though.
1. Autun Rat Trial
In 1508, much like the people of Berne, residents of the French town of Autun charged the local rats for eating their barley crops. Unlike the Swiss beetles, though, the rats were assigned a defense lawyer — one Bartholomew Chassenée.
Like the beetles, the rats failed to come to their trial, despite the signs locals had put up informing them of the date. Chassenée argued that the rats probably couldn’t read and were spread so far and wide that all of them may not have seen the signs.
After all, the townspeople had sued every single rat in the surrounding area.
The judges agreed that Chassenée had a point and ordered a new trial date pronounced loudly from every pulpit in town. Surely all rats would hear that, right?
Well, they didn’t come to the follow-up trial. Of course not, argued Chassenée, since his clients feared for their lives. Every cat, dog, and disgruntled citizen would kill them on sight.
According to French law at the time, no defendant was obliged to come to court if doing so put their life at risk. Naturally, this same law applied to the rats, as well.
Once again, the judges nodded in agreement. They adjourned the court and ordered all locals to keep themselves and their pets out of sight so the rats could come to court.
At this point, the villagers probably realized the whole situation was stupid and dropped the case. We’re saying that because there’s no record of a third hearing.
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