- There are some jobs nobody wants to do — but someone must.
Throughout history, people have had plenty of awful jobs, like a petardier or the Pharaoh’s anus blower. But that was in the past. Today, we don’t have to do gross, unsanitary work like this anymore, right?
Ha! Not by a long shot. Gut-wrenchingly disgusting jobs are alive and well, and modern technology has even resulted in completely new ones.
Here’s a list of the eight grossest jobs we could think of. But we’re sure there’s still something even more distasteful work available out there.
8) Pet Food Tester
Despite the blatant lack of any real quality standards in the pet food industry, somebody has to taste the products before they hit the shelves. And it’s not Spot or Mr. Whiskers who tests them — it’s a person like you and me.
Granted, some pet food testers genuinely enjoy their jobs and see it as their duty toward our pets. But if you’ve ever been dared to try pet food, you know it’s not a humanly palatable dish 99% of the time.
As an unadvertised bonus, you might get severe food poisoning from a particularly bad batch of animal food. There’s a reason why pet food testers have a golden rule — never swallow.
7) Pest Control Worker
There’s a lot to hate about being a pest control worker or technician. First of all, you get to work with literal vermin — cockroaches, termites, mice, rats, and every other disease-spreading pest.
It’s not enough that you have to be around. You may have to get really close and personal when you try to crawl into tight spaces where pests like to nest.
You’ll also be handling extremely toxic substances most of the day. And to top it all off, your boss will not pay you what you deserve. In the U.S., for example, pest control workers’ annual salary is $2,000 below the national median.
6) Slaughterhouse Worker
Meat doesn’t get on your plate without an animal being slaughtered. It’s a necessity, but the experience of working in a slaughterhouse is enough to turn anybody vegan.
There’s no sugarcoating it — things get messy when you’re separating an animal carcass into its basic components. One ex-slaughterhouse worker described his work environment as a “filthy, dirty place” with feces, guts, and blood all over the walls, floors, and ceiling.
But it can’t be that bad, you say? Well, it’s a scientifically proven fact that working in a slaughterhouse contributes to numerous mental issues, including post-traumatic stress.
But you can’t cook a steak without breaking a cow.
5) Vomit Collector
Working in an amusement park sound like a fun gig, right? Maybe, if you have the right job description.
And if vomit collector is your idea of the “right job description,” we don’t want to hear anything more.
This job is exactly what it sounds like. People get nauseous on amusement park rides and somebody has to clean up what they spew forth.
The next time you go ride a roller coaster, say thank you to the poor bastard who wipes up the half-digested hot dogs and cotton candy.
4) Animal Masturbator/Inseminator
Agriculture depends on farm animals regularly producing new offspring. Additionally, in zoos, getting endangered animals to mate is an important part of conservation work.
Sometimes, though, nature refuses to take its natural course. That’s when the dynamic duo of an animal masturbator and inseminator comes (reluctantly) to the rescue.
First, the masturbator will get the male animal off by using an electric stimulator or good old-fashioned manual labor. Then, the inseminator gets to shove the emissions up a female animal’s vagina.
We want to call it a thankless job. But then again, there’s probably a particularly kinky bull somewhere who’s only looking forward to it.
3) Crime Scene Cleaner
How do make all the gore a slaughterhouse worker sees even worse? Easy — replace it with splatter from a human origin.
The cops will tell everybody to not touch a crime scene. But once the investigation is over, someone has to come and clean up the mess.
In the best-case scenario, you might just tidy things up a bit. On the other end of the scale, you’ll spend hours or even days scrubbing away spilled blood, guts, body parts, and organs.
If working in a slaughterhouse is bad for your mental health, imagine what this job must do to you.
2) Sewer Technician
“Sewer technician” sounds bad enough, but wait till you hear the more colloquial name for this job. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you — the sewer diver.
You can’t always unclog or fix a sewer pipe remotely. Sometimes, someone just has to dive into the filth and do the repairs in person.
We probably don’t need to tell you why this job is horrible. You’ll be completely immersed in feces and filth in claustrophobic pipes, hoping that your sealed protective diving suit doesn’t spring a leak.
And the worst part? In some less developed parts of the world, people get to do this job without the suit.
1) Retail Sales Associate
Maybe you’re a bit confused about why this job tops our list. And granted, in hygiene, it’s infinitely above all of the others.
But you don’t need poop and gore to make a job disgusting. Sometimes, you just need some really s***ty people.
And if you’ve ever worked in retail — or talked to anyone who has — you know that retail sales associates get to meet the absolute worst humanity has to offer.
Imagine the vilest, most selfish, combative, and entitled person you can. Good chances are you get to deal with five of them during your average workday.
And you will do it politely and with a smile. After all, they’re customers — and as they’ll tell you, customers are always right.
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