8 signs your Christmas is ‘common’ – including thick gravy, PJs and fairy on the tree

Christmas is a time for family tradition, with many of spending the day in exactly the same way year after year. But etiquette expert William Hanson believes there are a few telltale signs your festive celebrations are ‘common’

Is your Christmas common, or is your festive feast dripping in class? It can be hard to tell, but an etiquette expert claims there are eight signs your beloved family traditions aren’t quite as fancy as you think they are.

Speaking to The Mirror, William Hanson lists some of the things you should avoid – including thick gravy and mocking sprouts.

It’s also bad news if you’re a fan of Christmas jumpers as apparently they’re a big no-no if you want to be fancy.

And while we firmly believe that when it comes to December 25, it’s a case of the tackier the better, let’s take a look through all the things that will apparently stop us from being invited to spend the festivities with the upper classes.

Here’s what William had to say…

Christmas jumpers

Arriving at someone’s house to find the family in matching Christmas jumpers is a surefire sign to know you’ve arrived in middle-class hell. Probably better to turn on your heels and leave, rather than crossing the threshold and having to endorse such behaviour.

Gravy

The Christmas lunch is awash with tell-tale signs of someone’s social standing. The best clue is in the gravy.

The old saying was ‘too thick, too council’. Gravy should never be watery but it should never be gloopy.

Also, smarter households never pour gravy (or any other sauce, for that matter) – they are ladled from the sauce boat and on to the meat – and only the meat. Never anywhere else, please.

Fairies

You may think a be-winged fairy may look beautiful atop a lit tree (remember, white lights only, please) but it’s simply not the done thing truly discerning households.

A fairy did not lead the Three Wise Men to Bethlehem in the traditional Christmas story, did it? It was a star, not a fairy.

Fairies have no place at Christmas. They are outcasts. (You could get away with having an angel on top but there’s a fine line between what presents as a fairy and what presents as an angel).

Fake Christmas trees

Fake trees just don’t cut it for fellow members of the taste police or me. An actual tree is always smarter and looks much better – even the expensive fake trees look terrible (however many people insist they pass for the real deal).

Keep it real if you want to pass social muster. Should you be an unfortunate soul who is allergic to pine, it’s preferable to decorate for Christmas using sprigs of holly adorned with baubles, for example, rather than go down a faux route.

Tinsel

This is still a social pariah unless you are lucky enough to have any antique tinsel, which used to be thinly hammered pieces of sheet silver. Very chic!

But aside from smarter historic versions, tinsel never looks good, is horrid to touch, a waste of money and bad for the environment.

Lights

Whether the lights are on the tree, around a doorframe, in a garden bush or elsewhere, lights must be white. Coloured lights can go back to the 1980s, please, and stay there.

Electric lights are the modern (safer) version of the candles the Victorians used to have precariously perched on branches of trees. Candles are white – thus, lights need to be white.

Pyjamas

Christmas Day is not the day to spend in your pyjamas, even if they are fresh on that morning.

There’s no need to put your dinner jacket on or get dressed up in a ballgown, but a collared shirt and smart trousers for the men (and conventional equivalent for women) is the least you should do.

Cooking, eating, taking the wrapping paper to the bins and then wearing the pyjamas into bed is not just common it’s slobbish.

Sprouts

Finally, laughing at sprouts or their side effects is never funny. Yes, they – for some people – make them produce a bit of flatulence but the expulsion of flatus is never to be laughed at or have attention drawn to it.

If anyone is so vulgar as to make a comment the etiquette is to blame the dog. Even if there isn’t one.

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