Devastated stepmum was kicked off stepson’s wedding table as she’s ‘not family’

A woman has voiced her upset as her future step daughter-in-law has ‘demoted’ her to guest tables at their wedding, claiming she’s ‘not family’ – despite being around for over 20 years

Weddings are often associated with happy memories where you’re surrounded by your closest friends and family. One stepmum is therefore understandably upset as her stepson of over two decades has revoked her right to sit at the top table at this upcoming wedding. The hurtful revelation came after the stepson’s fiancé claimed that the woman is “not family” – and it’s hit a nerve with the anonymous user online.

Taking to popular forum Mumsnet, the woman explained: “My beloved stepson and I have been in each others’ lives for over 20 years. We have a terrific relationship and I love him very much, as I know he loves me.

“A fortnight ago, he got engaged to a girl we all like very much – mostly.

“This weekend she informed me that I won’t be allowed to sit at the wedding top table as I’m not family.

“Then she changed it to ‘there’s no room’ as she wants someone else there, but that scheme would create odd numbers. So, whatever the reason, I’m demoted to the guest tables.”

“Should this be bothering me?” The woman questioned.

“I’m somewhere between upset and annoyed, but also aware it’s her wedding, her rules.”

While the stepmum admitted that she likes the bride-to-be, for the most part, she’s previously had some unfortunate run-ins with her step daughter-in-law.

The woman continued: “We have had two run-ins with her in the last six years; she is obsessed with the fact that stepson is ‘the product of divorce’ and has lectured us about how to behave when in the same room as my husband’s ex-wife.

“Honestly, my stepson is really not fussed, I’m not the other woman, and the ex-wife has remarried twice since splitting with my husband 30 years ago.

“We have also managed various family meetings (including a two-week holiday for stepdaughter’s marriage) with ex-wife with no problems at all.

“I’m not sure if this is related to the seating issue and other than these two incidents (both when she was drunk) we get along really well with her,” the woman admitted.

Seeking advice from users online, the woman questioned: “Should I just suck up and sit where placed? Of course, I will avoid upsetting my stepson, but am I wrong to be bothered by it?”

One person on Mumsnet admitted: “If it’s just parents and not step-parents then it’s fine for you not to be on the top table. If husband of mum is on top table then yes you should be.”

A second suggested: “Just let lie and sit where you’re told with a smile on your face. It feels a bit petty, but if you make a big deal of it then you’ll be seen as the petty one.”

“Her aunt and uncle get a seat but you don’t?! Yeah, I’d be hurt,” a third admitted.

“But I’d never say it, I’d take the moral high ground, sit where I was asked to and leave her to it – it reflects poorly on her not you.”