- Don’t worry, this story won’t end with fresh ham and bacon.
Picture somebody able to avoid police officers hot on your tail for days on end. What did you imagine? Some kind of criminal mastermind?
Nope. It’s a pig.
Ironic, don’t you think?
Anyhow, a loose hog had been wandering around Manheim Township in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, for days. The animal had been avoiding capture and causing mild mayhem for several days.
Eventually, a local resident snitched on the pig and called the cops as it was sleeping in their yard. But that didn’t lead to his capture — that’s just when the real wild hog chase began.
The pig went on a rampage, escaping through yards, fences, and even a children’s hospital. Now, the hog is in the care of a farm rescue organization, getting accustomed to a life off the streets.
What’cha Gonna Do with That Big Fat Pig?
The phone lines of the Manheim Township Police Department (MTPD) started ringing in early July. Locals were calling in to report sightings of a reasonably heft pig that was wandering about the area.
The pig wasn’t really being actively hostile or anything. It was just doing what pigs do — rummaging through people’s gardens and trash for things to eat.
Nonetheless, the pig was somewhere it didn’t belong, so the cops tried to catch him. But that didn’t all go so well.
“As it turns out, pigs are fast … and elusive. This one escaped capture for days, presumably living off the land like its cousin, the wild boar,” MTPD said in a statement.
On June 15, however, an opportunity presented itself. A resident called MTPD around 9:30 a.m., informing them that the pig was asleep under a trampoline in their yard.
Three MTPD officers and a civilian police aide — with more than 40 years of combined experience — arrived at the scene.
“[They] found that yes — this is a pig. And he’s enormous. So, now what?” said the MTPD.
According to the MTPD, the officers were more than ready to catch a cat or a dog. Yet, livestock on the loose wasn’t “exactly in their wheelhouse.”
“We don’t have the equipment to catch, contain, or even transport a hog. And where would we transport it to, even if we did have those things? The butcher shop?” admitted the MTPD.
‘Fastest Pig Alive’
Looking for a solution to their problem, the cops started making some phone calls. They had the time for it — the tired pig, whom they’d by now named Hamilton, didn’t seem intent on leaving the mostly fenced-in yard.
Eventually, the officers reached Lancaster Farm Sanctuary, whose staff soon arrived at the yard. They devised an ingenious plan of luring Hamilton into the back of their windowless van with treats.
A bit creepy. And Hamilton thought that too because he wouldn’t go anywhere near the van.
“[Hamilton] found the one spot in that mostly fenced yard that wasn’t mostly fenced to make his escape back to the streets,” the MTPD said.
“As it turns out, Hamilton wasn’t as tired as we thought because we’re fairly certain he’s the fastest pig alive.”
Running from the cops and farmers, Hamilton almost got hit by a passing Tesla. Spooked by the close call, he escaped to another fenced yard — belonging to a Pediatric Specialty Care facility.
“Great. An out-of-control farm animal in the play area of a Pediatric medical facility. What could go wrong?” the MTPS statement quipped.
Fortunately, the yard was empty and the fencing didn’t have gaps in it.
“After about 20 minutes of chasing Hamilton around inside the courtyard, probably much to the amusement of the staff inside Pediatric Specialty Care, we were able to secure Hamilton in a dog crate and load him into the back of the Sanctuary van,” the MTPD reported.
Finally Wagging
And just like that, Hamilton’s days of roaming the streets were over. He was ferried off to the Lancaster Farm Sanctuary, where he will be housed permanently.
Yet, it took some time for him to adjust. Hamilton, whom the Sanctuary has now named Gregory, kept snapping at anyone approaching him.
He even refused to do his business, the Sanctuary said. Imagine that — a pig that refuses to poop.
Yet, after three days, things got better. Mr. Hamilton-Gregory emptied his pipes (thrice in one morning) and began exploring his surroundings, his tail wagging happily.
We didn’t know happy pigs wag their tails. That’s pretty adorable.
Where Hamilton/Gregory came from and how he ended up on the streets, nobody knows. But at least he’s now being taken care of in a safe place.
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