Grandpa Causes Hospital Evacuation by Showing Up with WWI Shell Up His Butt

• No, he wasn’t a veteran from the Great War.

There are some stories that even we at Oddee couldn’t make up if we tried. This is one of those.

A French hospital was recently evacuated due to a threat of high explosives. That sounds awful but hold on just a second — it wasn’t a bomb threat.

The situation was serious, though, from a medical standpoint. That’s because the explosives were in someone’s butt.

An 88-year-old man showed up at the hospital and reported to the doctors that he suffered from a bizarre condition. He stated that there was a World War I-era artillery shell lodged firmly up his ass and he couldn’t get it out.

What was the hospital staff supposed to do? Before they could excavate the buried shell, they had to call the bomb squad and evacuate half the hospital in case there was fire in the hole.

Fortunately, all’s well that ends well. The shell was harmless and the doctors safely pulled it out of the octogenarian rectum.

‘Unusual Objects’

This bizarre medical case happened in the city of Toulon, a picturesque port city on the French Riviera. On the evening of Saturday, December 17, our adventurous old man arrived at the hospital.

We’re prepared to bet that the hospital staff wasn’t prepared for the answer when they asked the man what his issue is. He promptly informed them that he had an artillery shell from WWI stuck in his anus and he was unable to remove it himself.

The hospital staff was flabbergasted. According to a member of the staff, they’re used to extracting all kinds of things out of people’s intestines, but this was the first high explosive.

“An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam… We are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” the hospital worker told Var-Matin.

“But a shell? Never!” they exclaimed.

There most likely were a couple of follow-up questions, including, “Are you serious?” and, “How did it get in there?”

We don’t know how it got in there, by the way. French media hasn’t reported how the shell ended up in the man’s butt.

We’re sure we can all use our imaginations, though. Hey, just because you’re in your 80s, doesn’t mean you can’t try new things.

‘It Rarely Comes Out Where It Went In’

Naturally, the doctors had to take the shell out from where the sun doesn’t shine. But first, they had to take appropriate precautions should the man develop explosive stomach issues.

The hospital management organized an immediate partial evacuation of the premises. Incoming patients were diverted to other hospitals and only the gynecology, maternity, and intensive care services remained operational.

To make sure that those staying at the hospital were safe, the staff set up a separate tent outside the main facilities to take care of the man.

“We then had to treat our atypical patient, who immediately assured us that the shell was deactivated,” the hospital staff member said.

They couldn’t take any risks, though, so they called in a bomb squad. Fortunately, once the explosive experts arrived, they quickly agreed that the shell couldn’t explode.

Instead of a live round, the shell was a deactivated commemorative item France handed out to Poilus, or French infantrymen who fought in WWI.

The doctors could then proceed to remove the shell. Unfortunately for the old man, they couldn’t just pull it out and he required extensive surgery.

“It rarely comes out where it went in,” the hospital staff member noted.

Surgeons successfully removed the 7-inch-long, 3.5-inch-diameter shell from within the man’s guts. According to media reports, the octogenarian is in good health and expected to make a full recovery.

An Identical Story

Bizarrely enough, a nearly identical event happened almost exactly a year ago. In December 2021, a man in England arrived at a hospital with an artillery shell inside his anus.

In that case, too, the staff called a bomb squad to the premises to assess the danger. After being told there was no risk, they pulled out the shell.

The difference was that the shell was from WWII in the English case.

Perhaps shoving things up your butt is some shared English/French holiday tradition. But whether it is or not, for the love of all things good — stop using military-grade explosives to explore your body cavities!