‘I advised neighbour to not wear black when running – they called me a stalker’

A man was left baffled after he told his neighbour that she should wear some reflective clothing on her morning runs in a note -but her boyfriend came over and called him a ‘stalker’

Offering advice to people you barely know can be tricky because you don’t want to cross boundaries, but if it’s to do with their safety, you might decide to power through the awkwardness and tell them what you think they need to know.

That’s exactly what one man did when he realised his neighbour was going for runs at 6am wearing all black – and he said ‘she runs in the middle of the street’, and she’s ‘extremely hard to see with the dark clothing’.

He took to Reddit’s ‘Am I the a**hole’ forum to explain that he didn’t want to startle her so early in the morning, so left her a note in her mailbox – but it didn’t go down well.

He explained: “I leave for work at 6am and it’s still completely dark outside. I usually see the same woman running as I’m leaving my neighbourhood. She only ever wears black clothing to run, and she runs in the middle of the street (the sidewalks are icy this time of year).

“She’s extremely hard to see with the dark clothing, and I was worried that it was only a matter of time before someone hits her because she’s impossible to see. Yesterday she ran across the street while I was waiting at a stop sign, and I realised that it was one of my neighbours who lives across the street from me.

“I wanted to say something right then but didn’t want to freak her out, so I decided to write a note and put it in her mailbox when I got home basically saying that I’ve noticed that she’s very hard to see when she wears black to run, and that she should maybe consider wearing lighter colours or something reflective so she doesn’t get hit.

“Her boyfriend knocked on my door later in the evening and told me that I crossed a boundary and that I was ‘acting like a stalker’. I ensured him that I was just trying to make sure that she didn’t get hit by a car, but he started getting agitated and told me to stay out of other people’s business.

“It was not my intention at all to freak her out, and now I’m wondering if I really did cross a boundary.”

People were quick to point out that the man hadn’t done anything wrong and he was simply looking out for somebody else’s safety.

One wrote: “You’re worried about her safety, but clearly her boyfriend isn’t. It’s like common knowledge these days to wear reflective clothing when out walking/running when it’s dark.”

Another agreed, commenting: “It’s easy enough to get the reflective tape for your clothes or a light you can wear on a hat or head. The boyfriend here sounds like a scary jealous type. The original poster did their duty and now should just ignore them. I have a feeling that an ‘I told you so’ is off in the distance.”

A Redditor shared a heartbreaking story from their area, writing: “A lady in our neighbourhood was killed this way a few years ago. She was out walking early in the morning (in the dark) without any reflectors.

“She was hit by a teenager driving to school that morning. It happened right in front of someone’s house too. Even with that happening, lots of neighbors still jog and dog walk in the dark. So you’re not the a**hole, you were just trying to save her life.”

Someone else shared a tip that helps cars to see them: “When I’m near the road when it’s dark, I switch on the flashlight on my phone and I point it on my legs, so I won’t blind cars nearby, but they’ll see I’m walking.”

Someone else shared what they do to keep safe, explaining: “I have three black dogs. When I walk them at night or early in the morning, they wear collars that flash red light, and their leashes and harnesses have reflective stitching/patches.

“And I always wear something with reflective fabric (usually, lines down the sides of my trousers, as well as the reflective bits on my shoes). Because I don’t want to die. I love my dogs more than I can say, but I don’t think their walks are more important than my life.

“This woman is an idiot. I don’t know what she and her boyfriend are thinking. The original poster is definitely not the a**hole.”

Do you have reflective clothing for when it’s dark? Let us know in the comments.