‘I realised I was gay at 35 – I ditched my home and husband to live in a van with my dog’

Lauren Burgess came out in hives after working long and stressful hours – when she took a break to go travelling, she came to realise her sexuality

A woman who came to realise she was gay at 35 has ditched her home and “dream husband” to travel the world in a van. Lauren Burgess, 37, thought she had the perfect life until things became so stressful she broke out in hives and had to turn to therapy.

It was during this time she came to realise she was a lesbian after previously believing that experimenting with women during her college years was ‘just a bit of fun’. Being inspired by people on social media being open about their sexuality, she began to work out her own.

In February 2021 she took the plunge and left her husband, Matt, 40, after four years of marriage to travel the West Coast of America in a van with her dog – a Goldendoodle named Ted. Now, she has expanded her travels to Europe exploring cities like Lisbon, London, Paris and Amsterdam – embracing her sexuality along the way.

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Lauren, a business coach, from Joshua Tree, California, US, said: “I was living a life that I was told would make me happy. I had the dream husband, house, dog and career but I started to realise something wasn’t right.

“I saw people on social media talking openly about their sexuality and something started to twig. I wanted to travel and work, and my husband wasn’t so keen. I went travelling in my van for a couple of weeks and it all clicked – I realised I was gay.

“I had experimented with women in college but didn’t think anything of it. It was just a bit of fun back then.”

Lauren found admitting that she was a lesbian to her husband Matt difficult – but says he was supportive.

She had previously thought she was genuinely happy in her life until she came down with chronic hives in April 2018 after working long hours at work.

“I would go to bed every night grateful and content,” she said.

“I had a home and a job I was passionate about, but I worked very long hours which caused me to come in hives. I was in and out of hospital until my therapist told me I needed to drop something to get better.”

When covid hit in March 2020 Lauren found herself becoming depressed.

“I could hardly get out of bed,” she continued.

“Matt and I started having marriage therapy and we discussed travelling.

“But all of a sudden he changed his mind and had the confidence to tell me that it wasn’t what he wanted.”

Lauren decided that it was something she still wanted to pursue, and she bought a van on Craigslist to travel ‘for a couple of weeks’.

“I went on the trip for a couple of weeks, and it was amazing,” she said.

“I’d been seeing a lot of people of social media talking about their sexuality and I began to realise that I might be bisexual.

“But on the trip it all clicked and I realised I was definitely gay.

“It all made sense.

“I knew I had to go back to my husband and talk about getting a divorce.”

Lauren separated from Matt in February 2021 and took her belongings and went travelling along the West Coast of America ending up in Joshua Tree, California, US.

“It was so hard, but he was supportive and understanding,” she said.

“It felt very selfish, and I had a lot to grieve.

“I had my dog Ted with me, and he takes up the whole bed.”

Lauren bought a house in California, US, in January 2022 and let it out during weekends.

In June 2022 she took the plunge to travel to Europe, leaving Ted with Matt.

“It’s been amazing to explore Europe,” she said.

“I’ve been to loads of cities like Copenhagen, Amsterdam and now I am in Lisbon.

“Matt is an amazing person and I still have a lot of care there for him.

“It’s been really hard, but I had to follow my dreams.

“I thought I was living the life of my dreams before but now I really am.”

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