‘I was snubbed from my mate’s wedding – but they think I’m petty for cutting them off’

A woman has been branded ‘petty and immature’ by her group of friends after she cut them off – because she was the only one not invited to one of their weddings

A woman has expressed her frustration after she was the only one in a group of 18 friends not to be invited to a mate’s wedding – and was then called “petty” for her response. The 23-year-old claimed she was initially okay with not being invited to the wedding, as she was told there was “limited space” and had assumed that she wouldn’t be the only one in the large friend group to not make the cut.

But on the day of the wedding, some of her mates started sharing pictures in their group chat, and the woman soon discovered that all 17 other people – plus their partners – had attended the bash, meaning she was the only one from their friend group to be left out.

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In a post on Reddit, she said: “I am being called petty and immature for trying to leave my friends’ group chat after my feelings were hurt.

“I have a very large friend group that hangs out altogether a couple of times a year. We have a large group chat which we use regularly to share memories and photos. As I mentioned, it’s a very large group, about 18 people. As such, obviously, we aren’t all equally close. Some of the connections between people in the group are mainly mutual friends. However, we do all generally go to the same parties.

“Well, one of the people in this group was getting married and although we’ve known each other for a couple of years now, I’m not close friends with her. I suspected I wouldn’t get an invite to her wedding because she said it was more of a low-key event and I knew she didn’t have a lot to spend on it.

“When it came time to send out her invitations, I received a call from one of our mutual friends with whom we are both close. My friend wanted to tell me that the bride felt really awful about it but that she couldn’t invite me to the wedding because of limited space.

“I immediately reached out to her and let her know that there were no hard feelings and that weddings were stressful enough. I did feel a little bad about not being invited but I also assumed that there were other people in our friend group receiving similar calls.”

And while the snub didn’t bother her at first, the woman was devastated to learn she was the only one out of 18 friends not to be invited – especially when she discovered that one friend had been allowed to bring his girlfriend, despite their relationship starting after the woman was told she wouldn’t be getting an invite.

She added: “Well as it turned out, I was completely wrong. This weekend my group chat blew up with pictures from the wedding and while I was looking through them I realised that I had been the only one who didn’t receive an invite. What was worse was that everyone who had a significant other had got a plus one; even my friend who had started dating his girlfriend after I was told they couldn’t invite me.

“I was so embarrassed. I’ve been very insecure about friendships for the majority of my life because I’ve had multiple people ‘upgrade’ to someone more popular than me.”

In response, the woman decided to leave the group chat, as she felt that she didn’t want to be friends with people who were going to cut her out of important events – and was branded “petty” and “immature” for her actions.

She explained: “Because of this I got upset and decided I didn’t want to be a part of the entire group anymore and I left the group chat.

“That’s when my friends started reaching out to me asking why I had left. Some of them were understanding but my best friend told me that it looks really bratty and petty. Now I’m feeling bad because I really didn’t want to put a damper on their wedding joy, but being excluded really hurt my feelings.”

Commenters on the Reddit post were largely on the woman’s side, with many of them saying she’s “better off” without the group of people in her life.

One person said: “Out of 18 people, 17 and a bunch of their plus ones were invited? Miss me with whatever mind game bulls**t going on there. You’re better off without them. People who expect you to swallow this kind of disrespect for group cohesion are really just trying to make you feel bad for having any guts. Stick with the friends that reached out with concern, drop the rest.”

While another added: “To exclude 1 out of 18 friends is pretty s****y of her. You have a right to feel however you feel. It is not bratty or petty.”

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