‘I’m 23 and my boyfriend is 71 – people say I’m wasting my life but I want to marry him’

A 23-year-old woman says she’s deeply in love with her 71-year-old boyfriend and is now considering marrying him. She is however concerned about the caring role she’d potentially take on in his later years

A young woman says she’s now facing a dilemma after her much older boyfriend brought up the topic of marriage, casually asking her whether this would be something she’d be open to. According to the 23-year-old woman, she’s been with her ‘wonderful’ 71-year-old boyfriend for two years, and loves and cares for him very much.

At the moment, he’s in relatively good health and lives an active lifestyle. The longevity of his parents, who both lived until their nineties, has further reassured her that would have plenty of time together as a married couple. The potential bride-to-be doesn’t want children and feels as though their marriage could very well work out, however, she does have a few concerns about the caring role she may one day have to take on.

Taking to Reddit, where she goes by the username u/cinnamonpenguinss, the conflicted girlfriend wrote: “His mum does have Alzheimer’s or dementia, and is very frail. This leads me to believe that there will be a point in his life when he will need extra care.

“His dad did not have memory issues but did have a stroke. He doesn’t have any children, so I would be taking care of him as he gets older. What does it look like to care for an aging partner, especially if you have a job/career?

“It’s a little strange planning for an end of a marriage, but I fully believe that a decade or two of happiness with him is better than not. I just want to make sure that I am the right one to take care of him and love him.”

Opinions were mixed as to whether she should go ahead and marry her other half, with some even arguing she’d be ‘wasting the best years’ of her life.

One person urged: “You are signing up to be his nurse, not his wife. Don’t sabotage yourself like this! You deserve better. Don’t waste your young years being a servant. This is a horrible idea.

“This will damage you and set you back for the rest of your life, you must listen to the women who made the same mistake and are regretting it because of how the stress of being a 24/7 nurse and servant made them sick for the rest of their lives, to the point of needing but not affording someone to help them.”

Others however were more encouraging, with one sympathetic person, who sadly lost their much older husband to cancer, commenting: “I adored my husband. If I had the time again knowing I was going to lose him and there was nothing I could do about it. I would still do it all again.

“Even if you were with someone your own age there would still be a likelihood of one of you acting for the other further down the line anyway so take your happiness if you love them then it won’t be a barrier. It certainly wasn’t for me.”

Do you have an age-gap love story to share? Email us at [email protected]