‘I’m maid of honour for my best friend – her demands make me feel like a wedding planner’

The woman has never been a maid of honour before but might now be regretting her decision after hearing what the bride wants her to do in the run-up to the ceremony

A woman has questioned her decision to be her best friend’s maid of honour after hearing from the bride what she expects her to do before the big day.

Taking to the ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ forum on Mumsnet, the woman explained that she has been friends with the bride since they were children but is now not sure she is up to the job of being her maid of honour. In the post, the woman, who remained anonymous, explained: “She asked me last weekend, they had only announced their engagement a few days prior but I immediately said yes and was happy to have been asked.

“However, I either am completely naive as to what I’ve let myself in for and this is the norm to expect from a maid of honour… or it’s not the norm and is over the top.”

She added in the post: “Friend said well obviously, you will be in charge of organising the hen weekend. I will send you the details of my friends you don’t know.

“So 25 in total. 10 of these are mutual friends. The others I haven’t met or have met briefly.

“‘You will be in charge of organising the dress fittings for all bridesmaids. (11 adult bridesmaids. 2 flower girls aged 7/9) I’ll give you a list of Saturdays to pick from.’”

On top of this the maid of honour is expected to arrange the videographer and photographer for the big day, organise the flowers and even take on doing the make up for herself and the rest of the bridal party on the day of the wedding as the bride was not sure there will be enough funds for a professional.

She stated her best friend also wants her to do other jobs, including: “Sort out some wedding favours for the table. Maybe make something.

“Keep an eye on the flower girls on the day. Their mums won’t be with them so need to keep them happy!

“After the best man speech, I will let you do one obviously.”

The author of the post was not sure how to proceed as she knows that she might not be able to fulfil all of these demands but does not want to let the bride down and leave her needing more help.

She said: “I love my friend dearly, and have always felt it to be a very equal friendship, despite the physical distance between us now. But I think she’s thinking that I have a lot of spare time, due to not working.”

In response, many have been quick with advice as one wrote: “These sound like jobs the bride (and groom) would/should do tbh. I’d manage expectations now rather than feeling resentful later.”

While another penned: “The hen night for sure but the rest is just ridiculous, it’s her wedding. She needs to organise it or hire a wedding planner and a childminder for the day…. Where will the kids parents be ? That’s very strange.”

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