Man left flabbergasted by his £9 pizza after ordering from vending machine in wall

A man has gone viral on social media after sharing a look at the process of ordering a £9 pizza from a vending machine in a wall in Glasgow – and it’s fair to say it didn’t go well

There are a number of fast-food chains that could whip you up a pizza in a hurry, but we’re not sure how many of them could serve one to you in just three minutes. Well, a vending machine in the Merchant City area of Glasgow claims to be able to serve up a pizza in this amount of time and unsurprisingly this has left many people feeling curious.

Media Editor John McCarthy was among those curious to see what would happen if you ordered from the machine in the wall, so he gave it a go and documented the process on Twitter. His posts have since gone viral as it proved pretty amusing reading.

He tweeted: “This week. I hit my lowest culinary point after a couple of cans. In Glasgow, there’s a pizza vending machine, in the wall of an abandoned shop. It’s a curious thing. It MUST be bad. But how bad??? Let’s find out.”

John proceeded to order a pizza which he claims cost £9 and then had to wait to see what would happen next.

He continued: Order logged. £9. NINE OF THE QUEEN’S GREAT BRITANNIC POUNDLINGS. *Kings And a three minute wait. Noises coming from the vender. Mechanical wonders coax to life to craft the pizza. Hunger pangs drown them out. Will. The. Wall. Deliver?”

As adverts appeared on the screen in comic sans font encouraging businesses to advertise here, John began to doubt whether he would actually ever get a pizza – he did, but it’s fair to say he was less than impressed.

“The results from the pizza vending machine must be seen to be believed,” reads his next tweet as his friend Amy Houston films a video of them trying to work out how to get the pizza out of the machine.

He opens the compartment, only to feel like the metal is cutting his hands.

Eventually John retrieves the box which he claims is “smaller” and “lighter” than he expected.

And more disappointment awaits as he opens it to reveal an uncooked pizza inside – definitely not ready to be taste tested.

“So. It didn’t cook? At. All. *yes they are supposed to. I almost went back and bought another one? Did I accidentally choose RAW PIZZA in drunken stupor. Surely. Not.”

The friends took the pizza home with them and decided to continue on with their review anyway.

He writes: “Just because it is inedible. Doesn’t mean we can’t review the Letterbox Goodfella. We’ve a wheaty base. There’s either flour or asbestos on it. There IS cheese. It is definitely a less than generous serving but it may melt well. The tomato base. It sure is the correct colour.

“I trundle home with this Italian shame cradled in a torn box. The pizza is more than a meal, this potemkin paesano is the failed promise of society that told us to work hard, play fair and be rewarded. Even God can’t forgive the creators of this Heinz communion wafer

“But I’m a resourceful soul with an oven and the courage to use it.”

John continues to share how he drunkenly cooked the pizza and it ended up being rather “crunchy” and burnt.

After the entire ordeal, he claims he was left “standing here wondering how to get a refund of a god damn wall”.

He added: “There is a helpline on the machine. Do I read them out this thread? Maybe I don’t deserve a refund. Maybe life lessons carry a steep price.”

More than 16,000 people have since liked John’s initial tweet with many replying. Some confessed they’d also “always” wanted to try a vending machine pizza, while others encouraged him to do follow-up reviews of other bizarre vending machines.

The Mirror has contacted The Pizza Machine UK for comment.

Would you have given this a go? Let us know in the comments below.