Mum made uncomfortable by mother-in-law’s ‘weird and controlling’ gifts

A new mum says she’s been made to feel uncomfortable by her ‘manipulative’ mother-in-law, who she claims repeatedly brings ‘weird and controlling’ presents for her baby son

Receiving a thoughtful present for your baby as a new parent can be a lovely thing, but not if you have reason to doubt the gift giver’s motivations. One mum says she’s become wary of the gifts bestowed upon her by her mother-in-law, believing them to be ‘weird and controlling’.

Although ‘relations have been fine’ in recent times, the woman, who gave birth to her second son four months ago, says her mother-in-law ‘has a history of controlling and manipulative behaviour’, and something about these gifts just ‘rubs her up the wrong way’.

Turning to Mumsnet, where she goes by the username @Santaslittlehelper83, the suspicious mum wrote: “Whenever my mother-in-law visits, she brings things like nappies, wipes, and toiletries.

“We haven’t asked for this, and they are always the wrong size or brands we don’t use (think highly perfumed wipes, etc) . We have been gracious, and sometimes accept the gift as we may be able to use it, but sometimes politely let her know we wouldn’t be able to use it as it’s the wrong size or the brand gives our son a rash.”

She continued: “On the last visit I think I was abrupt and asked her to please not to buy these items for our son as we know what size/brand are suitable, and otherwise it is a waste. It’s not like we can’t afford these things ourselves and she has never asked us what would be useful/needed.”

The unnamed woman, who admits she’s currently sleep-deprived, is now wondering whether she’s just massively overthinking things, however, her husband apparently also thinks there’s something a bit off going on.

One person suggested: “It’s not a big deal on the spectrum of mother-in-law dramas. Just accept them graciously and donate them to a supermarket collection point or at worst bin them. It’s not like she’s ever going to know and no feelings or relationships get damaged. She probably just thinks she’s helping.”

Another advised: “Your history with her means you’re going to judge her behaviour by a higher standard than you would anyone else’s and you’re automatically looking for any hint of a problem. That’s understandable but something to be aware of. If another female relative of a similar age kept bringing the wrong baby stuff when they visited, how would you feel?

“It’s within the realm of low-level oddness you expect from family. You’re exhausted (you have a four-month-old, so I’m assuming) and your tolerance is low at the moment. I doubt that you’ll think this is worth being angry about in a year or so when you’re getting more sleep.”

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