Mum under fire for ‘lacking sympathy’ after son gave £50 of her money away

A mum has divided fellow parents after sharing her frustration over her teenage son giving £50 to his girlfriend without asking – as some think she’s not being sympathetic enough

When you give your children money for something specific, such as their school dinners, then you expect them to be responsible and spend it only on that. That’s why one woman was so shocked when her son told her that he’d spent £50 of his £80 allowance on an ex-girlfriend that he was keen to get back with and impress.

She took to Mumsnet to explain that she had no sympathy for her son after he chose to send a large chunk of his allowance for food and the bus to college on his ex who would repeatedly block and unblock him on social media. She said that he was upset at what had happened, but she didn’t have any sympathy for him.

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She wrote: “My son is 17, he has a very on/off relationship with his ex and she blocks and unblocks him constantly. My son really likes her so he won’t block her and every time she unblocks him, he thinks this time they’ll get back together etc.

“I put £80 in his account a month for food at college, the bus, etc. He knows this money isn’t for anything else. This morning, he told me he needs more money, I asked him why as I only put some in a few weeks ago so he should have some left.

“After a lot of ‘I don’t knows’ he told me his ex asked for £50 and he gave it to her and they spoke for a bit until a few days later she asked for more and he said he didn’t have it, and she blocked him a few days after that.

“I have no sympathy for him as he knows this money is for college but my partner (not his dad) has said I’m being unreasonable as my son is upset and he has ADHD which makes him more vulnerable. Am I being unreasonable?”

Some people understood where the woman was coming from, but some said that the woman didn’t seem like his mum from the tone she used to speak about the situation.

One wrote: “Well I would have zero sympathy, but buy him a bus ticket and give him sandwich stuff to make himself lunch so no more cash.”

Another agreed, commenting: “This is a valuable lesson he has to learn and he should be pleased to have learned it for £50 rather than significantly more. If you bail him out, the lesson is lost.”

“Well, he knows now neither a borrower nor a lender be”, one said.

Someone said the mum should have a little more sympathy, commenting: “I mean, I understand why you’re annoyed, but he’s your son. He’s young, vulnerable and he’s been had. I’d have lots of sympathy, but would explain the money has gone so it’s packed lunches for the next few weeks.”

“He is in an abusive relationship”, one suggested.

“Poor lad. If you can, contact her or her parents and let them know she owes your son the money. What a cow”, another fumed.

Someone suggested more warmth was needed, commenting: “Can you give him weekly money so he doesn’t have big sums to mess up with until he’s better at budgeting? I also think you need to talk to your son about red flags, self-worth, and how to feel worthy of a good person who doesn’t screw him over. Being cold won’t move him or you forward. He needs warmth and acceptance.”

Do you think the mum was being harsh? Let us know in the comments.