‘My daughter has no sense of personal hygiene – our pampering night went terribly wrong’

Encouraging her child to have ‘basic hygiene’, a mum urged her 14-year-old to shower with a wholesome pamper evening and tasty snacks – but it quickly went wrong

While being a teenager brings eruptions of tantrums, there’s only a handful of strops that parents can justify before things get out of hand. After her 14-year-old daughter refused to have any sense of personal hygiene, a woman has sought advice on popular forum Mumsnet after a wholesome evening went terribly wrong.

In a bid to encourage her daughter to wash, the mum tempted her child with a pamper evening, including the likes of face masks and tasty snacks. However, the woman claims that the 14-year-old ducked out of washing her hair – and she’s now questioning whether she’s unreasonable to ‘insist on basic hygiene’.

She explained: “I suspect I am being unreasonable, but am just so frustrated. So as not to drip feed, here is the backstory:

“My 14-year-old has zero, and I mean ZERO interest in personal hygiene and appearances.

“Showers require bribes, she refuses to wash or brush her hair, skin is awful, loads of spots and blackheads but she won’t use face wash or even wash it with a flannel.

“She puts on the first thing she lays her hands on, regardless of the weather or situation. I don’t insist she looks ‘ Instagram ready’ at all times, but showered, teeth cleaned, hair brushed and clean and tidy clothes is reasonable, surely?

“So, in an effort to encourage her, the other night I said let’s have a girly night tonight, showers, hair washed and conditioned, then we’d do face masks and manicures and pedicures, have some treat snacks and watch a movie.

“She went off to shower, all good. Comes out, having flooded the entire room, hair dripping wet, CLEARLY not shampooed, and says she’s ready for facemasks and treats.

“I said no, not till you’ve washed your hair and she hit the roof. Says she IS washing it and I’m just a horrible mum.

“I refused to budge, said no treats till her hair is washed AND she’s sorted out the flooded bathroom. She went to her room and stayed there for the rest of the night.

“My husband says I should have backed down and I’ll have made her worse now. I feel terrible. So was I being unreasonable? Or am I right to insist on basic hygiene?”

Taking to the comment section, Mumsnet users rushed to share their thoughts – while they understood the situation, they shared advice to proceed with the ordeal.

One person wrote: “I totally understand your frustration but raising the conflict level is unlikely to make matters any better.”

A different user commented: “I do understand your frustration but have you tried to find out why she has no interest in hygiene? My daughter only washes her hair every five days when clearly it needs it more often but I’ve learnt to bite my tongue.”

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