The woman’s family branded her as ‘heartless’ after her girlfriend cooked her a candlelit meal on her birthday – which happened to be the anniversary of her nephew’s death too
Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Losing a family member is really tough, but it would be especially tough if they passed away on your birthday as that day would forever be tinged with sadness. It may also cause family disputes, much like it did with one woman and her family who labeled her as ‘heartless’ for having a candlelit meal with her girlfriend at home to celebrate on her birthday, which was also the anniversary of her nephew’s death.
She took to Reddit to ask whether people thought she was in the wrong for celebrating his birthday, despite the fact she spent the morning with her sister, who was still grieving the death.
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She wrote: “My (25F) nephew (four months old) passed away one year ago because of cancer. It was right on my birthday and there was no celebration, there was nothing because everyone was devastated.
“My sister Denise is still grieving, she’s in therapy and making some progress, but it’s been slow. My family and I try to be as supportive as possible.
“Birthdays in my family are very important, we throw huge parties, I believe and have been taught that birthdays are important and should be cherished.
“Yesterday was my birthday. Obviously, I felt bad about the anniversary of my nephew’s death, but I was also a little down about not being able to celebrate like I used to and my girlfriend knew that.
“In the morning, I went to Denise’s house, and stayed by her side until almost lunchtime, when my mother would stay with her (we didn’t want to leave her alone, but no one could stay all day).
“I went to work and at night, my girlfriend made a surprise at home with a candlelit dinner and a small cake. Something very intimate and for both of us, since my family was in a bad way.
“I didn’t post on social media, but my girlfriend posted a picture of us holding hands and the dinner she made with “Happy Bday, Love”. My mom and Denise follow her on Instagram.
“I woke up the next day to hundreds of texts from my mum and Denise, asking if I was celebrating even though it was such a sad day and how heartless I was to celebrate knowing my sister was in such a bad way.
“Even though I said it was a surprise, they called me cold, heartless, and insensitive to the pain of others, saying I should have refused to celebrate.
“I was just glad I celebrated because it’s something important to me and I didn’t even realize when my girlfriend posted this photo on Instagram.
“By the way, in case you were wondering, none of them remembered it was my birthday. Am I the a**hole?”
People were quick to defend the woman, saying she was not in the wrong and she should be allowed to do something low-key on her birthday.
One wrote: “You didn’t make your mum or your sister celebrate with you. It was you and your significant other. Does Denise expect you to NEVER celebrate your birthday again?”
Another replied: “That’s probably exactly what she expects. I knew a girl whose brother died on her birthday when she was a kid, and she was never allowed to celebrate her birthday after that. Not even moving the celebration to the week after or anything like that, but literally not allowed to mention it at all.”
Someone else commented: “Did they honestly expect her to throw her girlfriend’s thoughtful and generous gesture in her face and hurt her feelings?”
Another said they should be allowed to celebrate their birthday, writing: “You’re not the a**hole. Life is for the living and you were well deserving of an intimate dinner with your girlfriend after having sat in grief with your sister for many hours in the morning. What happened to your nephew is heartbreaking, but everyone needs to keep on living.”
Do you think the woman should’ve marked her birthday? Let us know in the comments.