‘My friend won’t pay me back £4k she owes me unless I let her move in with me’

The woman was concerned that she wouldn’t get her money back, and she needed it to purchase a house – but her friend was claiming she could only pay her back if she moved in with her

If you know your friend is struggling and you’re in a better financial position than them, you may be kind enough to lend them money to help them with their money troubles. Most people would be grateful for the act of generosity, but one woman’s friend began to take things a little bit too far as she failed to pay her back on the agreed date, and then started adding terms and conditions.

The woman took to Mumsnet to ask for some advice because the conditions she was requesting were ridiculous and the woman wasn’t prepared to bow to her whims. However, she also did need the money as she’d given her £4,000, but she was becoming increasingly worried she wouldn’t get it back.

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She wrote: “Two years ago I gave my friend a loan of £4k as she was in a precarious financial situation having not been able to break her lease when her MSc came to an end as she had anticipated (she was screwed over by landlord so I was very sympathetic as I experienced similar).

“In contrast, I was living at home (moved back in during Covid) and was able to save so more than happy to help. My dad basically convinced me to give up a few years of my life in order to get on the property ladder in London.

“My friend has known my plan has always been to buy a house and use rent from housemates to cover the rent (wish I had never shared my bloody life plan with her now). My friend also knows roughly what the mortgage will be as I foolishly shared Rightmove link with her.

“I’ve lost a lot of respect for her as she has far exceeded the date we agreed that she would pay me back by. Anyway, I’m really shocked that she has essentially said she will only be able to afford to pay be back if she moves into my new house (rent is far below market rate).

“There’s no way I want to live with her due to the way she has conducted herself but I really feel like she is blackmailing me. She has slagged me off to anyone who will listen and shared my every detail of finances – savings, salary etc. to mutual friends.

“I drafted a contract (independent witness also signed) but I’m worried it’s meaningless. I cannot afford to walk away from the money as I need to set up my home with it.”

People were quick to point out that she didn’t seem like a very good friend, and they wouldn’t be too fussed about losing her ‘friendship’.

One wrote: “She’s not a friend. Take her to court – the small claims process is meant to be relatively straightforward to do.”

“Never lend anyone money again!”, another suggested.

Someone wrote: “Small claims court. Also learn a lesson from this, you overshare! You should never disclose your finances to anyone except maybe a spouse.

“Also your five-year plan or whatever does not need to be shared and never lend money you can’t afford to lose. You would be beyond stupid to allow her to be a tenant.”

One Mumsnetter said: “She’s not your friend, whatever you do DO NOT let her move in. She will never move out and will take more money from you (likely in unpaid rent).

“She’s already lied about you, stolen your money and s*** stirred. Take her to court to see if you can get your money back but don’t let her in the new place.”

What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.