New dating app where ghosting and swiping is ‘banned’ branded ‘online prison’

Tame, a new dating app where ghosting and swiping is banned has entered the scene – but so far it’s been met with a lot of backlash and criticism on social media

Tired of giving your all to dating apps, only to be ghosted, zombied, benched or breadcrumbed?

A new ‘healthy’ dating app has entered the scene, and it aims to remove all the toxic behaviour that seems to finds its way into others.

Tame, an app which launched in 2022, has a ‘zero tolerance’ for bad behaviour and wants to be more fair and inclusive – but it turns out these changes aren’t exactly what some daters are looking for.

Tame, which calls itself the ‘healthy dating app, says it “favours healthy human connection and safe use,” in response to the perils of modern dating life.

One of its main features is that you can only talk to one person at a time, and you aren’t able to browse other profiles until you end the conversation.

Tame explains: “If you are interested, you engage in a conversation and move forward with the person you have chosen. If not, no one is left in the dark, you leave the conversation and both of you can discover other people.”

You can also choose a reason to explain why you’re ending the conversation, ranging from “no spark” to “toxic behaviour”.

With this, they say there will be no ghosting, because you can’t speak to several people at one time, and it will give everyone closure.

There’s also a “no swiping” rule, which they claim is linked to “higher rates of psychological distress, anxiety, and depression”. Instead, people will spend time on an “engaging system of personalised questionnaires”.

It explains: “When setting up your profile, you’ll choose a few questions that will automatically be asked to those who like you. You will be able to read their answers and respond to their questions in turn, before deciding whether or not you want to get to know them better.”

Tame also aims to have a balanced gender ratio, which means you might actually have to go onto a waiting list if there are too many people belonging to one gender on the app at any one time.

The app will eventually become a paid-for subscription service, but users who haven’t had a match during the subscription period will get an extension for free.

On social media, the app has received a lot of criticism, with critics on Twitter calling it “awful,” “the worst idea ever” – and even comparing it to an “online prison”.

On Instagram, one commenter said: “This sounds like a hostage situation, not gonna lie”.

“Demanding people to explain why they want to quit talking to someone they barely know a) reinforces the disturbing ideology that ‘no’ isn’t a complete answer and needs justification and b) puts women in danger.”

Tame replied by saying: “We are not demanding or forcing an explanation, space for it is designed but it is not compulsory. What is compulsory is to close the conversation you’re in if you want to browse new profiles.

“People are no longer able to contact each other once the conversation is closed. If you have any suggestions on how we could rework our features to better protect women please feel free to let us know, we’re reactive and will work whatever is appropriate into the next updates”.

Some people pointed out that trying to balance genders makes it sound like it’s an app with heterosexuals in focus.

In answer to this, Tame replied: “Gender imbalance is not possible for people dating within the same gender.

“The waitlist aims to solve an issue that is notorious in the heterosexual online dating scene. Hope this clears it up. Let me know if you think any changes should be made!”

However, others commented that the intentions of the app are good – although it still needs some work.

One person said: “I don’t really see an issue with these policies. Well, maybe there are issues in implementing them, but the intentions are good. I don’t use dating sites but from what I hear, there are a lot of people who use Tinder to plug their socials or whatever.”

Tame has recently released a statement saying they are “completely open to feedback” and are “listening and ready to work with your suggestions”.

Would you try Tame? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.