- A perfect example from 400 years ago on how to completely derail a court hearing.
When you think of werewolves, you’ll probably picture a monstrous creature that’s usually firmly in the camp of evil in stories. But that’s actually not an accurate depiction of them.
That is, if we believe a man who was an actual werewolf.
In 1691, a robbery trial in Swedish Livonia (modern-day Latvia) took a bizarre turn when an old man brought in as a witness suddenly blurted out that he was a werewolf. Or at least he used to be before he gave up the practice.
During his testimony, he gave an account of werewolves that’s starkly at odds with the general view of werewolves, both then and now. According to the man, he used to descend into hell in werewolf form to fight off Satanic forces, including evil witches.
We know all this because the record of the man’s unusual story has survived to this day. This is the strange story of Old Thiess — a self-described werewolf and a loyal Hound of God.
Why, Yes, I Am a Werewolf
In 1691, somebody robbed a church in Jürgensburg, a town in what was then Swedish-controlled Livonia. Since the rule of law was (kind of) a thing back then, the judges of Jürgensburg whipped up a trial.
At one point, they called an old man in his eighties to the witness stand. Known as Thiess of Kaltenbrun — or Old Thiess to his friends — the judges believed he may have been in the vicinity of the church during the robbery and seen the criminal.
But things quickly turned weird when Old Thiess, completely unprompted, blurted out that he had been a werewolf up until a decade ago. The judges, presumably giving each other uncomfortable glances, summoned several local residents in good standing to ask them if the old man was quite right in the head.
To the judges’ surprise, each of the people testified that as far as they knew, Old Thiess was perfectly sane. So, as being a werewolf was an anti-Christian crime at the time, the judges decided to let Thiess speak and incriminate himself for being in league with the Devil.
What they didn’t predict was that Thiess was a sworn enemy of all things Satanic.
Kicking Satanic Butt
Thiess began his story by boldly stating that witches were real. That didn’t really surprise anybody, as everyone at the time knew about witches.
But they didn’t know that witches and werewolves were mortal enemies. Old Thiess claimed that on certain occasions each year, such as on the night of St. Lucia’s day and the Pentecost, he and others like him would transform into werewolves and descend into Hell.
“Aha!” said the judges. “You’re going into Hell to meet with your infernal lord and master, right?”
Nope. On these nights, Thiess claimed that his werewolf pack would battle witches and Satan himself in Hell and steal back food, livestock, and other goods they had stolen.
When asked how Thiess became a werewolf, he told the judges about how he used to be a beggar. One day, “a rascal” had drunk a toast to him, giving him the power to turn into a werewolf.
He also said that he could pass the questionable gift on. If he toasted someone, breathed three times into a jug, and offered the jug to someone, that person would also become a werewolf upon accepting the gift.
On a Mission from God
The judges were confused but on board with the story so far. But they were curious — why would werewolves go fight Satan when everyone knew they were evil creatures?
That’s when Old Thiess told them the one thing that was most difficult for the judges to swallow. He claimed that werewolves were, in fact, good creatures. They can’t tolerate any kind of devilry and were appointed the Hounds of God for their zeal.
Werewolves were tasked by Lord Almighty to descend into Hell and take back what Satanic legions had stolen. If they failed in their mission, that year’s harvest would be poor.
Thiess then detailed a raid from the past year when he had brought as much oats, barley, and rye as he could carry back from Hell. We imagine that at this point he sang a 17th-century rendition of “You’re Welcome” from Moana.
But wait, said the judges. Didn’t Thiess just claim that he had abandoned his werewolfing ways a decade ago?
“Well, you got me,” Thiess admitted. He said he had lied — he couldn’t abandon his righteous crusade for the good of mankind.
Punished for His Effort
The judges had heard locals talk about Thiess being a werewolf, but they had assumed it was just an old wives’ tale. But with the man himself testifying that he was, indeed, a werewolf, they now had a dilemma at their hands.
According to secular and ecclesiastical laws of the time, being a werewolf has a sin and a crime. But Old Thiess claimed he was on a mission from God, which couldn’t be dismissed outright.
So, the judges decided to test Thiess a bit more. They asked him where werewolves’ souls went after death, to which the man quickly replied that the glory of Heaven awaited them.
They then inquired whether Thiess was a good Lutheran, went to church, prayed, and regularly took the Eucharist. To this, he answered no. Thiess said he was too old to understand the things done in the church.
It also emerged that Old Thiess practiced folk magic and healing. While seemingly doing so for a good purpose, there was a glaring flaw in his spells — they didn’t call upon the power of God.
That was enough for the judges. They decreed that Old Thiess was encouraging anti-Christian practices and should be punished.
Yet, he got off fairly lightly. Thiess could’ve easily lost his head, but instead, the judges sentenced him to ten lashes and exile from Jürgensburg.
To modern researchers, the trial presents a curious glimpse into a time when pre-Christian European traditions coexisted and mixed with church dogma. To the rest of us, it goes to show that bizarre court cases aren’t just a modern thing.
Hits: 0
