- Those sensitive to morbid accidents may want to go read another story.
Gas stations are often not the most hygienic places, whether inside or outside. You can often expect to find trash, used contraceptive devices, and other gross stuff in and around them.
But you’d never expect to find dismembered human genitalia.
Sadly, that was the shocking discovery made in Alabama. Police officers were called to a Mobile gas station after somebody discovered something truly gruesome.
On the ground lie a severed human penis.
The sinister surprise understandably left the local community fearful about what was going on. They wanted to know whom the penis belonged to and how it got to the gas station.
Much to their surprise, the police announced that they would not investigate the discovery of the penis as a matter involving any foul play. The public’s outcry was quickly silenced when the cops said they were pretty sure they knew the penis’ owner.
The dismembered genitalia likely belonged to a very unlucky motorcyclist who got into a morbid accident nearby. The cops suspect an irresponsible driver fleeing the scene took the torn-off penis with them to the gas station.
That is one grim series of events.
‘A Whole D*ck’
On January 30, the Mobile Police Department (MPD) of Mobile, Alabama, received a distressed call from a local gas station soon after 6 a.m. According to the caller, somebody had spotted a severed human male genital near their fuel pumps.
Police arrived at the scene to discover that the caller wasn’t kidding.
“It was a whole d*ck,” a gas station employee, identified only as JR, told Lagniappe.
More police officers arrived at the scene and they taped off the gas station. The employee said that they collected the dismembered penis as evidence and took it with them.
The heavy police presence at the usually quiet gas station quickly attracted the locals’ attention. It didn’t take long until rumors about the messed-up discovery began circulating on social media.
Naturally, local residents wanted to what on earth was happening. Why was there a disembodied human penis lying on the ground in their little corner of the world?
Was it the result of a brutal murder?
Shedding Light onto the Mystery
Fortunately, the locals soon got more information. However, it probably wasn’t what they were expecting.
Around 4 p.m. on the same day the penis was found, the MPD announced it would not investigate the matter as assault or murder. That said, they were decently sure they knew where the penis came from.
Surveillance video footage from the gas station showed that a black pick-up truck pulled into the gas station around 6.15 a.m. After the driver had filled up their tank, they got back into the truck and left.
But just as the pickup began pulling away from the pump, a penis suddenly fell onto the ground.
This clue helped the police connect this bizarre case to a traffic accident they were also investigating at the time. However, the details of that accident are not for the faint of heart.
A Tragic Accident
The cops figured out that the owner of the penis was Christopher Means, 29. Around 6 a.m. on January 30 — mere 15 minutes before the penis appeared at the gas station — Means tragically lost his life on a nearby highway.
A police report said Mean was riding his motorcycle on the I-65 to I-10. Suddenly, he lost control of his bike for undisclosed reasons.
The accident threw Means off the motorcycle, sending him tumbling onto the road. According to the MPD, he struck “multiple vehicles” before he hit the ground for one last time.
Sadly, Means never got up from the road. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
Despite multiple cars colliding with freefalling Means, only one driver made the right call to remain at the scene. All the others sped off as soon as the poor man’s body had cleared their bumpers.
The police suspect that the black pickup that brought the genitals to the gas station was involved in Means’ fatal accident. We can only imagine the force he struck the vehicles with if it was enough to tear off parts of his body.
The investigation is ongoing and the MPD has asked anyone who may have been involved in the accident to contact them. Hopefully, they can find the driver who irresponsibly left the scene, unwittingly taking a piece of Mr. Means with them.
Hits: 0
