Woman heartbroken as boyfriend who ‘isn’t struggling’ gets her £12 gift for 30th

The woman was confused about her boyfriend’s behaviour because she said he’s normally loving and caring on a daily basis – but when it came to her 30th, she was left less than impressed

When it’s a significant birthday, we probably expect those who love us most to make a bit of a song and a dance about it. Whether they’re spending a lot of money, or not, that’s not what counts – it truly is the thought. But what if that’s not there? How would it make you feel?

One woman was left deeply disappointed after her boyfriend made no effort with her present, but also failed to make her birthday meal special as he forced her to pay half of the bill. She took to Mumsnet to express how gutted she was, and how she’d wanted to be fussed on her 30th.

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She wrote: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for only nine months, so not a long time I know. But I feel disappointed and sad about the lack of effort my boyfriend has shown for my birthday.

“He got me a random joke card that had no relevance to us, and seemed like something he already had lying around. He got me a necklace that literally broke after 10 minutes of wearing it, it looked really cheap, and he told me it was from Amazon…I found it and it was £12. Like what?

“I don’t understand why he has been so cheap?! He is very caring and affectionate, and tells me every day he loves me, but this has just felt so disappointing. We went out for a birthday meal and he suggested we pay half each.

“He is not struggling financially, he has thousands in his savings and often treats himself to new clothes, other expenses etc.

“I don’t know what to say to him, I don’t want to upset him, but I don’t feel very special and I feel c*** about the lack of effort, romance, and just general desire to make a fuss of me on my 30th.”

People were shocked at the lack of effort he’d put into her 30th birthday, especially as it was the first birthday they’d spent together as a couple.

One wrote: “If this is the effort he goes to your birthday then it is probably not going to get much better. It’s more the effort that’s the issue not the money and it really doesn’t sound like he put any thought or effort into any of it.”

Another said: “Cautious with money is one thing, but if he can’t replace money even with time, for example, ‘I’ve made a picnic, we’ll go to your favourite place to enjoy it then when we get back home I’ll cook your favourite meal and massage your back while you pick a film of your choice’ is not costly but demands time and effort.

“If he isn’t spending his money on your birthday, ask if he is spending time and effort as a lovely gesture. If not then definitely get rid.”

Someone else agreed, writing: “He’s cheap, that wasn’t good enough for your birthday. I think he should have treated you to the meal out. Being miserly is not an attractive quality.”

“He suggested a meal out for your birthday and then made you pay half? Bin him off”, another suggested.

One Mumsnetter backed the man, however, saying that they’d only been together for nine months so she was expecting too much from him.

They wrote: “You’ve been together for nine months so I think you are being a bit unreasonable to expect loads from him and/or for him to dip into his savings to make you feel ‘special’.

“Some people are cautious with money – he’s one of them. It’s not a bad thing.”

Would you be offended by this gift? Let us know in the comments.