Woman rethinks marriage as husband has stag do lap dance – but some say it’s ‘tradition’

A woman has been encouraged to leave her husband after he got a private lap dance while out on a mate’s stag night – but others have told her it’s just ‘tradition’

A woman has begun to reconsider her marriage after she found out her husband received a “private lap dance” while at a friend’s stag do. The woman said her husband wasn’t the only one in the group of mates to get a lap dance, but as the only married one, she feels her husband was the only one in the wrong.

In a post online, the woman said she wasn’t sure how to feel about the news, but was told by many that she should be “reconsidering her future” with the bloke as they saw it as a severe breach of trust and akin to cheating.

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The woman claimed in a Mumsnet post: “My husband had a private lap dance on a stag do. He says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single. Not sure how I feel about it to be honest.”

She then asked if she was “being unreasonable” to be upset by her man’s antics, but several people assured her that they would be “furious” if they were in the same situation.

One person wrote: “I would be furious and reconsidering my future. For me personally, it steps over a line. I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy if you had a d**k swinging away in front of you, would he?”

While another said: “They all say they don’t remember it/were too drunk/it meant nothing. It’s a line they use. He chose to pay for a lap dance from a particular woman. It would make my skin crawl touching him again. That’s how I’d feel. He simply could have said no, he didn’t.”

And a third posted: “For me, having a practically naked woman grind against my husband and dance in an intimate way for him would be a form of cheating. The fact that money has changed hands doesn’t change anything. But that’s me. You have to decide what it means to you.”

Not everyone held that view though, as many others also said that getting lap dances is part of the tradition of a stag or hen do, and it should be expected when attending one.

Someone said: “I couldn’t get upset about this. It’s a tradition for stag dos and it would’ve been his friends who arranged it anyway.”

As someone else added: “Personally, I couldn’t get upset about a lap dance at a stag do. It’s what happens at many stag dos and hen dos. It’s a terrible tradition, but if you go on one, you kind of are obliged to not rock the boat.”

In a follow-up post, the woman said her husband has apologised and claimed he regretted it “the minute he got out” of the strip club. The couple are now working through it, but the woman has said she’s still “hurt”.

She explained: “He was honest and told me when he got back. He’s apologised and said he regretted it the minute he got out, and it will never happen again.

“I’ve asked him to give me some space as I do feel hurt now. It’s the lack of respect for me and our marriage, and the idea of him and another woman (topless/naked) alone in a room that makes me shudder.”

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