- Nature really doesn’t give a hoot or a holler about its own supposed “rules.”
The male is aggressive and dominant, while the female is submissive and meek. That’s just how it is —the natural order of things.
Well, sometimes that is true. However, there are equally many examples that demonstrate this “traditional” dynamic between the sexes is far from a universal natural principle.
Here are 7 animals that don’t give a flying f*** about male dominance — if they can be bothered to have a clearly definable sex in the first place.
7. The Rape-y Topi Antelope Gals
“I like you and I want you,” says the amorous topi antelope lady. “Now, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. The choice is yours.”
That’s about the best-case scenario a male topi antelope can hope for when mating season rolls around. Female topi antelopes will have their way with the male they like — whether he wants it or not.
Female topis get so sexually aggressive that males often end up having to fight off several lusty ladies just to have a chance to eat.
Guys, we know what you’re thinking, “But that sounds awesome!” You might think so, because you haven’t grasped just how violently horny a female topi can get.
She won’t be satisfied with one or even two rounds. She will have her chosen male mate again and again until he drops to the ground from exhaustion — and then she’ll move on to bachelor #2.
6. Female Lions Call the Shots
In Lion King, Mufasa might’ve seemed like the big cheese of Pride Rock. But behind the scenes, it was Sarabi who called the shots.
Lion society is utterly matriarchal. It’s the lionesses who defend the pride, do most of the hunting, and carry out every other traditionally male job.
Sure, there’s only one “alpha male” with exclusive mating rights at any time, but his position is far from permanent. The male is lucky to be able to stick around for three years before getting kicked out.
There’s another facet to this. All the female lions in the pride are related. They stick together through thick and thin while the transient males come and go.
So, if Lion King was realistic, Simba wouldn’t be the king of Pride Rock for long. Also, Nala would be his sister. Yeah, it’s a different story.
5. Anglerfish’ Unholy Matrimony
While males are often considered the stronger sex, the size difference favors females with many animals. But no species takes this reversal to a more comical — and horrifying — extreme than anglerfish.
In many anglerfish species, the female is much, much larger than the male. At the highest end of the scale, the female is roughly 60 times bigger and half a million times heavier than the male.
Furthermore, the tiny males’ existence is pretty pathetic. They have one purpose — to find a female, bite onto her, and degenerate into nothing more than a sack of testes.
When the female feels like procreating, she’ll draw some sperm from the male that’s now fused to become a part of her body. With some anglerfish, a female may have as many as a dozen former males hanging off of her.
4. The Changing Sex of the Clownfish
If Lion King gave a distorted view of lion life, Finding Nemo does the same to clownfish. So, what would a realistic Finding Nemo be like?
Clownfish live in multi-generational groups — and they’re all born male. In this group, there’s a dominant female and a dominant male who take care of procreation.
But where did that female come from?
Well, if the reigning female dies (as Nemo’s mother did), the dominant male (Nemo’s dad) will begin a process that will transform him into the new dominant female.
Then one of the juveniles in the group assumes the role of the dominant male. The two will then continue producing offspring and the cycle repeats.
So, in the realistic movie, Marlin wouldn’t have become a single father. Instead, he would’ve changed sex to become Nemo’s new mother — whom Nemo would’ve then banged.
3. The Pregnant Seahorse Stallion
So far, we’ve stuck to one principle — if a species undergoes pregnancy, that’s the female’s job. Don’t tell that to the seahorse, though.
Seahorse sex begins fairly conservatively. The female lays up to 1,500 eggs and the male release sperm to fertilize them.
The female doesn’t lay the eggs in the water, though. Instead, she deposits them into a pouch on the front of the male’s body.
After fertilizing the eggs, the male carries them around, providing them with nutrients, hormones, and security — just like a pregnant mother. After a pregnancy lasting between 9 and 45 days (depending on the species), the male pushes the hatched babies out with strong muscle spasms.
Yes, he basically gives birth.
Pregnancy? More like preg-MAN-cy.
2. The Land of Lesbian Lizards
Okay, so there are different dynamics in nature. But at least there’s always a male and a female.
Unless you go to New Mexico. The Land of Enchantment could also be called the Land of Lesbian Lizards.
In the desert, you can find the New Mexico whiptail. This is an entirely female lizard species.
New Mexico whiptails are born through the hybridization of two other whiptail species. Due to some genetic quirk that we’re too dumb to understand, it’s utterly impossible for New Mexico whiptails to be male.
Yet, they can reproduce with each other.
Two New Mexico whiptails — a reminder, both female — can engage in mating behavior. Afterward, they lay eggs, which hatch into new baby girl whiptails.
1. Banana Slug’s Extreme Self-Love
Fine, the lesbian lizards can reproduce through girl-on-girl humping. But AT LEAST you need two-…
Oh, come on!
Say hi to the banana slug. Like many other slugs and snails, it’s a hermaphrodite possessing both male and female sets of equipment.
Now, banana slugs prefer mating with other members of their species (for some reason, even though the mating ritual ends with one of them biting the other’s penis off). But if they can’t find a mate, they can impregnate themselves.
Imagine spanking your monkey and later finding out your hand is pregnant. That’s the banana slug way.
And they wouldn’t have it any other way.
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