Florida Man never fails to disappoint us. This time, he has…
Wait, this isn’t Florida Man. It’s Florida Manatee!
And it’s one of the most famous ones. Hugh the Manatee, 38, was a visitor favorite at Mote Marine Laboratory and Aquarium in Sarasota. He was known, among other things, for predicting the winner of the Super Bowl.
Sadly, on April 29, Hugh passed away. He didn’t exactly go out in a blaze of glory, though — or in any PG-13 manner.
Shortly before his death, Hugh engaged in “high-intensity sexual behavior,” the aquarium said according to ABC7. Yet, he didn’t hump the living daylights of a lovely lady manatee.
Instead, he was on the receiving end for another male manatee. And that male also happened to be his brother, Buffett.
A necropsy — that is, animal autopsy — later confirmed that Hugh had died from a ruptured colon, alongside other internal injuries.
Oh, the Hugh Manatee!
Clean Initial Report
The details about Hugh’s death weren’t initially quite so explicit. At first, they simply let the public know that Hugh has “passed away unexpectedly” on April 29.
“After Hugh showed a change in his behavior earlier in the day, animal care staff began closely monitoring him. Saturday late afternoon, Hugh suddenly became unresponsive in his habitat,” Mote Aquarium said in an April 30 statement.
Don’t get us wrong — the aquarium knew exactly what Hugh had been up to with his brother. They just had to confirm whether he died from playing the catcher to his pitcher.
To that end, the aquarium said that a necropsy would determine Hugh’s exact cause of death. However, the proper tests would take at least eight weeks.
Well, those weeks passed and the aquarium got their results. That prompted a new statement.
“Given the recent media coverage of the events surrounding the passing of our beloved and recently deceased resident manatee, Hugh, it is important that we share an overview of the facts to ensure complete clarity on the cause of Hugh’s death,” Mote Aquarium wrote on Facebook.
Those facts are decidedly more explicit. Just a heads up, if you don’t want to know about traumatic male-on-male manatee sex, this is your chance to get off the ride.
All the Dirty Details
Now, the thing about male manatees is that they get randy during mating season. Whether in the wild or captivity, for two months every year, they undergo seasonal behavioral changes “including, but not limited to, an increase in sexual behavior.”
And that was the time of year for Hugh and Buffett.
“On the day of Hugh’s passing, Hugh and Buffett engaged in natural, yet increased, mating behavior,” the aquarium said.
Due to the marine mammals’ horniness, the aquarium put them under increased observation. That put them in the front-row seat for what a USDA APHIS report described as “high-intensity sexual behavior between two adult male manatees.”
According to the USDA, Buffett rectally penetrated Hugh at around 10 a.m. Shortly afterward, the aquarium staff collected a fecal sample that contained fresh blood.
Yet, according to the aquarium, Hugh didn’t show any “obvious signs of discomfort or distress” and actively continued to interact with Buffett. As a result, the two engaged in multiple penetrations throughout the day, with the last one occurring around 5:15 p.m.
After that session, Buffett swam away — but Hugh sank to the bottom of their pool, unresponsive. By the time the aquarium staff got to him, he was dead.
The necropsy confirmed Hugh had a nearly six-inch rip in his colon. Combined with multiple other “traumatic” injuries, his amorous acts with his brother were determined to have killed him.
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
You might ask why the aquarium staff didn’t act to keep the two hormone-addles manatees apart. The USDA asked the same thing and concluded that Mote Aquarium should have done so.
“The facility failed to handle a male manatee as expeditiously and carefully as possible to prevent trauma and physical harm, resulting in the death of the animal,” the USDA report reads.
“The licensee must ensure that all animals are handled as expeditiously and carefully as possible in a manner that does not cause trauma, overheating, excessive cooling, behavioral stress, physical harm, or unnecessary discomfort.”
See that last clause about “unnecessary discomfort,” though? Mote Aquarium claims that its staff didn’t force Hugh and Buffett apart because doing so could’ve stressed the brothers out.
“Separation has previously caused undue anxiety and negative effects in both manatees,” the aquarium said in its statement.
Instead, the staff attempted to use treats, toys, and other “high-value rewards” that had previously worked to distract the manatees.
Yet, the events of the day clearly show that this time, no treat could pull Buffett away from his brother.
So, the question is: would the “undue anxiety” have been worth it if Hugh was still alive today?
We suppose hindsight is always 20/20. Rest in peace, Hugh.
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