Father-in-law declines christening invitation as he ‘just don’t want to be there’

A mum says she was left baffled after her father-in-law declined an invitation to her youngest child’s christening, simply telling her “he doesn’t want to be there”

A mum claims she has been left scratching her head after her father-in-law chose to decline an invitation to her youngest child’s christening, stating, “he doesn’t want to be there” without any further explanation. He attended the christening of her oldest child, and she just can’t understand what the reason could possibly be.

Her mother-in-law will now be attending the small family gathering alone, the first they’ve held since the arrival of their newborn daughter, and it doesn’t appear that he has any prior plans elsewhere. She also doesn’t think he’s an atheist and, given that he’s attended such celebrations before, it doesn’t seem that he’s against partaking in religious ceremonies.

Having previously believed she got on well enough with her in-laws, with their relationship being “pretty neutral”, the puzzled mum now fears she might have done something to offend him.

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Taking to Mumsnet, where she goes by the username mumofbe, the perplexed mum explained: “To my mind, this response is completely bizarre. It’s not so much that he doesn’t want to be there, it’s the fact that he bluntly told us that he doesn’t want to be there.

“I get that we all have events that we don’t want to attend but surely the art is to diplomatically turn down the invite. To simply bluntly state that you don’t want to be there seems like an attempt to intentionally offend someone.”

Baffled by his response, the mum-of-two now wonders whether they need to have a chat with him to figure out what the issue might be. However, her husband is said to have now “lost his rag” with her for trying to unravel the mystery, telling her he thinks she’s “making it all about [her]”.

One fellow Mumsnet user advised: “It’s telling your husband believes ‘he will have his reasons’ and suggests perhaps other stuff has happened/going on. Has he lost his faith? Fallen out with another family member? Developed dementia and doesn’t want to be out in public etc.

“There could be a reason that you’ve not been told as he has asked for privacy and they think believing him to be rude would be preferable to breaking his trust.”

Another took a different view, suggesting: “It’s rude. Presumably, it’s his grandchild and he should at least make the effort for a few hours.

“Without offering a brief explanation, ‘I’m not religious’ etc. he’s just leaving people to think that he can’t be bothered with them, which is rude. I would return his bluntness in kind next time he asks something of me, after all, it’s so refreshing to be told to f*** off in not so many words.”

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