Mum livid as she’s accused of ‘policing’ other people’s kids after they hurt her son

A mum was left baffled after she confronted children who had ‘kicked’ and ‘punched’ her son at a play area as their parents weren’t happy she was ‘policing’ their behaviour

When you’ve got a child and they’re minding their own business playing and you see another child being mean to them, it can be tough to bite your tongue and allow them to figure it out for themselves. Many parents will have conflicting advice to give if their little one was in this situation, but one mum found herself unable not to say anything when she noticed someone else’s child kick hers in the face.

The mum took to Mumsnet to express that she wasn’t happy with the violence and that other mums had expressed their disgust when she’d intervened to tell the child that attacking her son wasn’t acceptable, with one mother saying ‘don’t let her speak to you like that’.

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She wrote: “Was at a soft play today with my 10-year-old son. We’ve not been in forever, but he randomly asked to go, so we headed there. It’s huge with lots of things for older children up to age 12.

“He was very happily running up this space mountain (soft material with the odd grabber at the top to help you get to the top, you then go into a dark slide). Sometimes kids made it up, and sometimes they slipped or rolled down, it’s part of the fun.

“He’d been up and down half a dozen times, loving it. The next minute he’s being kicked at by an older girl (she looked much older but must have been a tall 12) in the FACE so that he can’t reach the top (she is at the top, sitting in the area before you slide).

“I called up for my son to come down, but he held on and reached the top. I can see some chat going on (it’s quite high), next thing a younger boy grabs his face, shoves him towards the slide and punches his back to push him down. My son came off the slide crying. He rarely cries.

“My son told me that he said to the older girl that she shouldn’t have kicked his face, it wasn’t allowed. He then told her they weren’t allowed to just sit there and stop others from getting up. The younger boy was her friend and decided my son couldn’t tell them what to do and he would get my son out of the way!

“I was not amused. They both stared at the top as they could see me waiting to speak to them. I alerted a passing member of staff, who then requested they come down. When she spoke to the older girl she denied everything (of course). I moved over to say ‘ I saw you, you’re not being truthful. You can’t kick people. We need to speak to an adult about this’. She objected loudly.

“At this point, two other mothers stepped in, one said to the girl ‘Don’t let her speak to you like that. Go and see your parent. She doesn’t have the right to speak to you as you’re a child’. The other added that it was ‘her word against yours’. I’m the adult, I saw it!

“I told her this and she added ‘You should have been supervising.’ I added that I was, that’s how I’d seen every minute of it. Her friend added that if I had spoken directly to her children she’d be livid.

“The staff member had found the mum and beckoned me over. The girl continued to lie and it went nowhere- the mum preferring to believe her. The mum of the younger boy also believed her son had done nothing, despite me seeing it all with my own eyes.

“Her advice was that my son has no right to ‘police’ her child’s behaviour and shouldn’t tell others the rules. My son is very keen on following rules. It’s not unreasonable I don’t think for him to say that others shouldn’t hit him/ be where they shouldn’t.

“The member of staff merely said staff don’t supervise, it’s up to parents. I asked if people are ever asked to leave due to violence and was told ‘Parents decide what action to take’. We left soon after. At £12 I was really cheesed off.

“Was I being unreasonable to directly speak to the child?”

Some mums defended the original poster, saying they would’ve done the same and children who behave badly should be chastised.

One wrote: “I would have done the same. This is why some kids behave so badly. When they are pulled up on their behaviour their parents back them up. It’s very bad, lazy parenting. Glad you stood up for your son.”

Another said: “I’d have done the same as you, you were well within reasonable behaviour, and in fact quite restrained! I would write to or email the management of the venue to discuss the poor way that this was handled by the member of staff and to express disappointment that safety is not taken seriously.”

“B***** hell you were more restrained than I would have been!”, someone added.

Others said that they thought the woman had behaved unreasonably, and shouldn’t have intervened.

A Mumsnetter said: “You should have asked the member of staff to find the parent before telling off the child, it’s totally unacceptable for two adults to chastise a child when the child doesn’t know them, that could be so intimidating and I’d be furious if it happened to my child.”

Another wrote: “It’s okay to speak to a child in a calm way, and just make a comment. Or talk to the staff and get them down. But it sounds like more than that, a big drama, and to me, that’s not okay at all.”

What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.