‘My dad is giving his new baby the exact same name as me – it’s like I’m being replaced’

A woman is fuming after discovering her dad plans to give her unborn half-sister the exact same name as her – leaving her feeling like he wants to ‘replace’ her

Baby names can be a tricky subject to navigate with family members, especially if two of your loved ones are pregnant at the same time and both want to call their little ones something similar, as it could descend into arguments despite neither party having “dibs” on any moniker.

One woman, however, has had a much stranger experience when it comes to the names used in her family after she learned that her dad and her stepmum plan to name their impending arrival Lilly – which is the same name as hers.

The 18-year-old explained that her full name is Lilianna but she always goes by Lilly and has done for her entire life, so it feels awkward for her to now share a name with her half-sister, even though her dad is convinced it’s totally normal.

In a post on Reddit, the woman said: “I found out 3 months ago that my dad is having another kid with my stepmum Laura.

“This all happened when I was staying at my dad’s since I only visit him twice a month. Laura and my dad sat me down and told me they were expecting, which I didn’t think much of since I’d never been close to Laura. I asked if they’d thought of any names and Laura said she would let me know when they found out the gender of the baby.

“About two months later when I was on Skype with my dad, he told me that they were expecting a girl. I wasn’t excited, but I wasn’t unhappy for them either, it’s just one of those things I wasn’t really sure how I felt. I asked if they’d picked a name and Laura interrupted and said they’d be naming her ‘Lilly’. My name is ‘Lilianna’ and I go by Lilly for short.

“I guess my face must have said it all and my dad started saying ‘it’s just a name, two people in one family can have the same name’ and ‘Lilly and Lillianna are completely different names’.

“After that, I just ended the call and didn’t visit my dad that weekend. I’ve talked to my mum about it and she agrees it’s weird of my dad to be okay with this and understands why I’d be upset with this. I have since cut contact with my dad and haven’t answered any of his texts or calls for a few weeks.”

To make matters worse, the woman also explained that her dad wasn’t a huge part of her childhood as he split from her mum when she was still a baby herself, so she feels as though he’s trying to “replace” her with his new daughter as he missed so much of her younger years.

She added: “Laura has tried to get in touch with me through Facebook, saying that I’ll always be my dad’s first child and he’d never replace me. So why did they pick exactly the same name as mine?

“My grandma (dad’s mum) is blaming Laura for this drama and is suggesting I should contact my dad to sort this whole thing out. My dad wasn’t there for me during my younger years so this feels like he’s having a new baby to replace what he missed.

“Is it my responsibility to sort this out when we have never been close and he’s basically trying to replace me with a new baby?”

Commenters on the post were quick to rally support for the woman, with many saying they’d be “livid” if they were in her position.

One person said: “I don’t really have any advice to give but that is really weird. I would be livid in your position.”

While another added: “I’m sorry this is happening to you. This isn’t your problem to solve. It’s your dad’s. He needs to step up and do right by you.

“If you’re comfortable, I do suggest writing your dad an email letting him know how their decision has made you feel and also telling him all the things that have been building up in you since childhood about your relationship with each other.”

And a third wrote: “My aunt did this. She named both her kids with different dads the exact same first name. Her first son grew up in my home as my sibling. It hurt him deeply.”

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