Woman who planned holiday with man after two dates ‘blindsided by late night message

The woman thought she had found a special connection with the man she met online, messaging and speaking on the phone every day, but he left her stunned with an unexpected message

A woman was left ‘blindsided’ by a message from her crush after she planned to fly abroad to meet him for a third date. After two months of talking online and two “amazing” face-to-face meetings, the man had to leave the UK on a work trip and was due to be away for a few months.

However, believing they had a special connection they told each other they would try and make it work, continuing to get to know each other with regular messages and phone calls.

But she woke up to a message on her phone which left her completely stunned, and she admits she still has no idea what to reply.

Desperate for answers and advice, the anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to ask other parents what they thought of the man’s sudden change of heart.

She wrote: “I had two amazing dates with a guy who is now working abroad in various countries for a few months. He left about three weeks ago and calls or texts me everyday. On the weekends more as he’ll often call me when he’s had a few to drink.

“He plays his cards quite close to his as do I but earlier this week we talked about me flying over to meet, he detailed the dates and countries he’s going to be in and said if I let him know when I’m coming he’ll take time off work.

“He also said how well matched we are and that he feels he can be himself when he talks to me, that I’m ‘solid’, he knows he can trust me and he has no red flags about me. I said the same about him. It was great as I felt both of us were allowing our guard down a little.

“Friday afternoon he calls me for a chat, nothing out the ordinary, he just called for chit chat. Then yesterday morning I wake up to this message.”

The woman then shares the man’s full message. He wrote: “I’m going to sign off for a while. I really need time to think about my future, if there is one.

“I feel too connected to back home. Work wise I’m not in a good place at all. I need time out. I promise it’s not to do with you, I really just need time to be present here and where I am, hope you understand.”

He said he would call her later in the day to explain what was going on in more detail, but the woman was distraught.

She wrote: “I’m bloody heartbroken which is ridiculous, but he has been such a big part in my life over the time I’ve known him, we talk for hours sometimes. He is always the one to call me (something he did mention when he was a bit drunk), so it’s not as if I have shown myself to be needy or a drain on him.

“I feel so disposed of and confused based on our previous conversations and have no clue what to say to him.”

The woman received a mixed response, with some agreeing with her surprise while others said he hasn’t done anything wrong as they’ve only met twice.

One wrote: “You went on two dates and were going to go abroad to see him? I honestly think you should look for other options. He is now sounding complicated and hard work and you do not even know him. Messages do not mean anything. Please do yourself a favour and move on x.”

Do you think she’s right to be upset? Have your say in the comment section below.

Another wrote: “I think you got attached too quickly. I have done online dating and people do not show their true colours for a while. Obviously it was hard for you as he went abroad. However, he did sound a bit too good to be true – and he was. He sounds flakey and chaotic and unreliable – not someone that I would be comfortable with now. I am not saying you have done anything wrong by the way. And I am sorry for the hurt Sucks when you were so happy.”

Others were more cynic and suggested there might be more to it.

One user wrote: “Perhaps he’s not really working abroad and doesn’t want you to find out.”

Another added: “The explanation for this kind of behaviour is usually that he’s met someone else.”

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