‘My selfish mother-in-law comes over to see my baby late at night – it’s disruptive’

The woman wasn’t happy when her mother-in-law turned up at almost 9pm to visit her grandchild – as it disturbed her and her baby who spent the whole time screaming

When you’ve got a baby, it can be really tough to get them to sleep and even harder to get them to stay asleep. You want to get yourself and your baby into the best routine you possibly can, but sometimes there are things that may disturb you out of that routine, such as special events – but you’re prepared for those, so it’s okay.

One woman took to Mumsnet to express her patience was running thin with her mother-in-law, however, as she kept turning up with minimal warning in the evening when her little one was settled down and she just wanted ‘a relaxing evening’ and to not have to entertain anyone after she’d got her baby to bed.

She said: “Received a call from my mother-in-law last night at around 8.30pm saying she was on her way to visit. I was instantly p***** off because she had just dropped this on me and I just wanted a relaxing evening.

“She arrived a short while after the phone call and woke up my 10-week-old baby who had already had her bath and was asleep for the night (she sleeps through until 5am).

“The baby spent the whole entire time that my mother-in-law was here screaming as her sleep had been interrupted and my mother-in-law was trying to interact with her when all she wanted to do was sleep.

“My mother-in-law got upset and started saying ‘does she not remember me?’, ‘I’ve never seen her like this before’.

“I tried to explain to her that the baby was in bed before she got here and is crying because she’s tired. I had to take the baby in the end as she was just inconsolable.

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“After she finally went home, we were left with a very unsettled, over-tired baby who took hours to settle again. My mother-in-law sent a text about how ‘disappointed’ she was with the visit and it’s just p***** me off even more.

“Who the hell thinks it’s acceptable to come to someone’s house at close to 9pm to visit a newborn baby?! Would I be unreasonable to say she cannot come here after a certain time?”

People were quick to defend the woman saying she wasn’t being unreasonable.

One wrote: “Gosh yes, I’d have been furious. Put your foot down. Tell her to arrange for a better time.”

Another said: “That’s exactly what you need to do. Nip it in the bud otherwise, it will only continue and/or get worse.”

Someone else commented: “I did that with my ex-mother-in-law. She would always turn up at dinner time which meant my daughter’s eating went completely to pot because she was excited to see her.

“I fully understood that my mother-in-law was fitting it around her schedule but it didn’t work for ours. I told her politely not to call round between a certain time, and she didn’t (though she wasn’t happy about it).”

“Get some boundaries in place, say no”, someone fumed.

“Yes, you really need to nip this in the bud and make it very clear to her that she can’t just drop in whenever it suits her”, another raged.

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